When to Ignore Messy Eating. When to Nip it in the Bud.

I’m often asked about kids' messy eating. Parents often wonder what’s normal and at what age kids will learn to use utensils. Recently I received this question from a Mom:

My question is regarding messy eating.  My daughter (just turned 4) often eats with her hands and then has food obviously all over her hands but also on her face from ear to ear.  She also plays with her food a bit (ie:  bites a few holes in her bread and then pauses to see what shape she has made).  How much emphasis should I put on eating neatly with a fork and spoon and how do I do this or should I just be happy that she’s eating?

It's normal for preschoolers (3 - 5 year olds) to eat with a combination of their hands and utensils. Most are still working on the dexterity involved in using utensils. They're curious about the world, so yes, they'll likely explore their food too (like the example you give with the bread).

As long as her behaviour is coming from a place of eating and interest in her food, don't sweat this mess. Because we want her to continue feeling confident with eating. We don't want to make her feel self-conscious about the way that she eats.

Teach through role modelling. Have an adult join her at as many meals and snacks as possible. Her internal drive to grow up will motivate her to copy your use of utensils and other actions at the table (e.g. wiping your mouth with your napkin when you finish eating).

In the meantime, go ahead and start teaching other manners like saying please and thank you, taking turns to speak during a conversation, asking to have someone pass you the peas, and asking to be excused when finished eating.

On the other hand, pay close attention to see if her behaviour is motivated by naughtiness. That is, if she's acting out and purposely taking actions to get negative attention. You'll recognize this right away. If so, then do nip the behaviour in the bud and explain that we don't play with our food.

How do I Help My Baby Feed Himself/ Herself?

I’m often approached by parents of babies between 9 months and 12 months old who are concerned that their children aren’t learning to self-feed as quickly as other babies. Here’s an example of what one parent asked me: “My son is 9 months and has been eating finger foods since about 7 months however he will not feed himself. Is there something I can do to help this? Or will it just come to him? How do I help my baby feed himself” Without doing a full assessment of a child, I can’t say for certain what’s causing a child to learn self-feeding slower than their peers. But I can share the common causes that I see and their solutions.

Common Causes for Baby Not Self-Feeding:

1. Medical conditions or developmental concerns. Because you didn't mention it, I'm assuming that your son doesn't have any medical conditions or developmental concerns that would affect his dexterity/ motor control.
2. Missing role models. Kids learn from watching others - particularly older kids and adults. If no one else is eating there isn't anyone to act as a role model for how to do it. Also, eating is a social activity for us human beings. Kids of all ages eat better when adults join them at the table.
3. Temperament (also known as personality). Some little ones are what I call "outsourcers". They're happy to sit back and let others do things for them instead of doing the hard work of figuring it out themselves. Because learning to self-feed does take work at this stage.
4. Over-helpful caregivers. Sometimes parents (and other caregivers) have such strong desires to help their little ones that they jump in and "help" instead of sitting back and allowing their little one figure things out for themselves. This can sometimes also be fuelled by impatience and/or anxiety about your little one getting enough to eat. The result is a learned helplessness.

Solutions to Help Baby Feed Himself:

If the cause is #1 then working with an Occupational Therapist can be a great help.

The solution to #2 is to sit and eat with your child. Ideally, eat the same foods too. This way you're sending a message loud and clear that you want him to eat what’s in front of him. And, you’re creating the social environment that’s most conducive to eating and learning.

The solution to #3 and #4 is the same. Resist the urge to jump in and "help". You're actually being more helpful by holding off and allowing him to learn the skills himself.

Take Home for How to Help My Baby Feed Himself:

Note that the most common cause that I see are # 3 and 4. In other words, a combination of a child’s natural temperament and parents who are either overly anxious or keen to help.

It’s a classic case of fantastic intentions inadvertently taking things in the wrong direction.

Thankfully, it’s super easy to fix! Babies this age are compelled to master the skills that they see others doing. Just like learning any new skill, kids learn to feed themselves with finger foods at different rates. They want to learn how to self-feed, we just need to create the environment that supports them in mastering it. When you do, they’ll learn this new skill in their own timing that’s perfect just for them.

Secret Tip for Using Packed Lunches to Get Picky Eaters to Try New Foods

Guest Expert article at Health Your Way Online It’s back to school. Which is the perfect time for me to share this secret tip that’s been super successful with my picky eater clients.

In the 6 years that I’ve worked with Moms and Dads of picky eaters, I’ve noticed that almost every family makes the same mistake. The only time that they offer their picky child a challenging food is at dinner. (Note that a “challenging food” is either a new food or one that their child has seen many times but refuses to eat). This backfires because even toddlers and preschoolers will notice this pattern. And so they will refuse to eat, act out, or come up with any other excuse not to come to the table and eat dinner. For many kids, picky eating stems from being afraid of the food. It’s a developmental stage that I call “food-wariness”. Instead of facing their fears, kids will do everything that they can to avoid the dreaded challenging food.

The first step to getting these kids to try new foods on their own is to have them become accustomed to seeing a new food in front of them. It’s the first baby step in overcoming their fear. By frequently presenting a new food, they become accustomed to the food’s presence. Thus they become more confident. Eventually that confidence, along with their desire to grow up, is what motivates them to try new foods.

So what’s this secret, successful tip that I promised to share?

Include challenging foods in packed lunches.

Now take note that I’m not saying to pack a lunch that only includes challenging foods. What I’m saying is to frequently (not necessarily every day) pack one challenging food along with your child’s favorites. The “bento-box” style lunch kits make it easy to include a challenging food because the challenging food won’t touch your child’s favorites. And, we all know how much young kids don’t like their foods to touch. Even if your fussy eater doesn’t eat the challenging food, you’re building their food-confidence because you’re helping them become accustomed to seeing a challenging food in front of them. And, what’s even better is that you don’t have to watch your child not eat it (which I know drives so many parents nuts)!

Use After School Snacks to Get Picky Eaters to Try New Foods

{Guest Expert Contribution to Kidzedge} If you’re like the parents of picky eaters I’ve helped for the last 6 years, you’re constantly on the look out for ways to get your kids to eat more (healthy) foods. After school snacks are a great (and often overlooked) opportunity to contribute to kids’ nutrition. Here’s why after school snacks are such a great time to get kids to eat more foods, how to do it, and some snack ideas.

After School Snacks Why it Works:

Have you ever tried getting a child to eat a new food when they aren’t hungry? It’s a lesson in futility. Many kids have big appetites at after school snack time. Appetite is a great motivator for kids to try new foods. Take advantage of this natural window of opportunity and use after school snacks to offer your child new foods.

After School Snacks Steps to Take:

Step #1: Plan snacks that include foods from 2 or more food groups. Often we think of snacks as a time for junk food. Or, as a time for a single food – e.g. an apple. But kids have big nutrient needs and small tummies. They need healthy foods more than just at 3 meals per day.

Step #2: Consider meals and snacks to be equal opportunities to eat. A mistake that many parents make is to give their child healthy foods at meals and favorite foods at snacks. This stacks the odds against kids eating well at meals. Instead, frequently, give your child a snack that includes either a new food or a food that your child has seen many times but hasn’t tried yet.

Step #3: Think outside the snack aisle. When looking for snack ideas, it seems natural to look in the snack aisle of the grocery store. But this aisle is mostly filled with highly processed, junk foods. Instead, look for easy to eat versions of meal foods. Focus on providing foods from the food groups where your child isn’t meeting the recommendations. To see the recommendations, check out My Plate or Canada’s Food Guide

After School Snack Ideas:

• Edamame and an orange (2 food groups)
• White Bean Dip* with a variety of raw veggies such as snow peas, carrots, and zucchini (2 food groups)
• Hard-boiled egg and toast (2 food groups)
• Yogurt with blueberries and hemp hearts (3 food groups)
• Sliced banana on top of whole grain crackers/rice cakes/corn cakes spread with peanut butter, nut-butter, or non-nut butter. (3 food groups)

White Bean Dip Recipe

Makes 12 Servings

1 can (14 oz, 17.6 oz) cannellini beans, canned, drained 1 bulb garlic, raw 1/4 cup (2 oz) olive oil 1/4 cup (2 fl oz) lemon juice, fresh

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
2. Remove the outermost skin of the garlic bulb (the loose stuff). Cut off the very top of the bulb so the tip of each clove is exposed. Rub the entire bulb with some olive oil. Wrap in tin foil, shiny-side inwards. Place on a cookie sheet or in a casserole dish.
3. Roast in the oven for approximately 45 minutes, or until the bulb gives off the distinct roasted garlic (not raw garlic) aroma and the cloves are squishy.
4. Allow to cool.
5. Drain and rinse the beans (rinsing removes some of the “magical” part of the beans). Place them in a medium-size bowl.
6. To the beans, add half the olive oil, half the lemon juice, and half of the cloves of garlic. Using a hand-held blender, blend the mixture until it’s smooth. Adding more olive oil, lemon juice and garlic to taste and to get the texture to the desired smoothness.
7. ENJOY with tortilla chips, crackers, apple slices, and raw veggies like carrots, celery and bell pepper strips.

Note: You can roast the garlic days in advance.

Check out my recipe page for more healthy after school snack ideas for kids.

When Should I Introduce Dairy to my Baby?

{Guest Expert Blog post at Love Child Organics} Many parents ask me about when they can introduce dairy to their baby. The recent recommendation from Health Canada, the Canadian Pediatric Society, Dietitians of Canada, and the Breastfeeding Committee of Canada is*:

“If parents and caregivers are introducing cow milk…delay until 9 – 12 months of age…limiting cow milk intake to no more than 750mL (3 cups) per day.”

A similar (but not exactly the same) statement from the American Academy of Pediatrics says **:

“Once your baby is past one year old, you may give him whole cow’s milk, provided he has a balanced diet of solid foods (cereals, vegetables, fruits, and meats). But limit his intake of milk to one quart (32 ounces or 946 ml) per day.”

These statements leave many parents asking me questions. Let me address the most common ones that I receive.

But first let me explain the reason behind the recommendations because I think that it will help you understand what to feed your baby. It’s not that there is something in dairy that’s unsafe for babies. The recommendation is related to iron. Iron is important for babies’ growth and in particular their brain development. There are 3 ways that dairy foods can be a concern with respect to iron:

1. Dairy foods aren’t a source of iron.
2. Many babies love drinking cow’s milk and eating other dairy foods. Thus, the dairy foods can crowd out iron-rich foods.
3. Dairy foods can interfere with babies’ absorption of iron.

So the recommendation was created to provide advice on how to include cow’s milk in a way that doesn’t interfere with babies’ need for iron.

Here are my responses to the questions that I’m frequently asked:

Question: Does this mean that I need to wait until 9 – 12 months to give my baby cheese and yogurt? What about foods that contain cow’s milk?

Answer: No. Any time from about 6 months onwards, feel free to introduce small amounts of yogurt and (pasteurized) cheese amongst the wide variety of foods that you’re introducing to your baby.  Just don’t make yogurt or cheese a food that you’re giving large amounts of, day after day. Make them a ‘sometimes’ food, not a ‘frequent’ food. The same goes for other foods that use cow’s milk as an ingredient, such as sauces and dips.

Q: 9 – 12 months is a big age range, should I wait until 9 months or 12 months?

A: The reason behind the age range is that you want your baby to be regularly eating a good amount of solid foods multiple times a day before you introduce cows’ milk. Like learning any new skill, some babies master eating solids quicker and some take longer to actually get any significant amount of food in them (as opposed to on their face and clothes, in their hair, and on the floor). If your baby is eating lots of solid foods (particularly iron-rich foods), feel free to start introducing small amounts of cows’ milk after 9 months. If your baby is slower to get the hang of eating solids (particularly iron-rich foods), wait until 12 months.

Q: Why do the statements give a limit per day?

A: It’s above 3-4 cups per day that we start to see the negative effects of cows’ milk on eating iron-rich foods and iron’s absorption. This can result in iron deficiency.

Check back to this blog next month when I’ll cover when to introduce cow’s milk alternatives such as soymilk, almond milk, etc.

*  http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/nutrition/infant-nourisson/recom/recom-6-24-months-6-24-mois-eng.php

** http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/feeding-nutrition/Pages/Why-Formula-Instead-of-Cows-Milk.aspx

Just Sit Down (or, How to Get Your Child to Stay at the Table)

Does this sound familiar? Your child sits at the table, eats two bites, then runs off to play, circling back to the table a few minutes later, eats two bites, then runs off to play, circling back to the table a few minutes later, eats two bites… (you get the picture). Here's how to get your child to stay at the table. I love this question because it’s one of the easiest to fix. It’s much easier than getting kids to try new foods.

How to Get Your Child to Stay at the Table: Step 1

Check in with your own behavior.

As the saying goes, actions are stronger than words. Do you eat standing at the kitchen counter? While walking down the sidewalk? While driving? You’re teaching that one doesn’t have to sit at a table to eat.

Many Moms I know are like a jack-in-the-box during meals, getting up every 30 seconds to grab something from the kitchen. Stop. Before the meal starts, gather within reach (e.g. in the centre of the table) what you expect you’ll need during the meal. This might mean serving foods family-style so people can help themselves to seconds and/or having a cloth at the table to wipe up spills. Let phone calls go to voicemail and not checking texts/ emails.

How to Get Your Child to Stay at the Table: Step #2

Set appropriate expectations.

I know that it’s going to come as a shock to you (not) that toddlers and preschoolers don’t like to sit still for long periods of time. To them it’s quite boring. So don’t expect them to enjoy sitting for an hour over a meal. An age-appropriate expectation is to stay at the table until they are finished eating. Or, until they are finished eating and a few minutes longer. An example is staying at the table after they’ve finished eating the number of minutes as they are old (2 minutes for a 2 year old, 5 minutes for a 5 year old).

How to Get Your Child to Stay at the Table: Step #3

Explain to your child that there will be a new rule at meals.

She is free to get up from the table when she is “all done”. But, if she gets up from the table, she is choosing to be “all done”. Which means that her plate is being cleared to the kitchen and there will not be any more dinner for her to eat. The next time that she will be offered something to eat is ___________ (fill in the blank with your family’s routine e.g. bedtime snack, breakfast the next morning, etc). Be clear that when she chooses to leave the table she can no longer come back for more bites.

How to Get Your Child to Stay at the Table: Step #4

Implement the Boundaries.

Now just because you explained the new rules to your child, don’t expect him to truly understand them the first day. When your child moves to get up from the table, remind him of the new rule. And ask him if he’s really all done.

Now’s the tough part, you need to follow through on the rule. Remove his plate from the table and continue on with your meal. When he circles back to the table expecting to take two more bites, remind him that he chose to be all done, so it means that he doesn’t get any more bites of dinner. Remind him when the next meal or snack will be (e.g. bedtime snack, breakfast, etc).

He’s likely to protest this new rule (that’s his job as a toddler/ preschooler). It’s important not to give in and let him take some bites. If you do then you’re letting him know that the rule doesn’t really exist. You’re teaching him that he can leave the table and make a fuss and he will get more food.

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Healthy Home-Made Ice-Pops for Kids

Recently my friends and I were having a nostalgic laugh about the rising trend of home-made ice pops – also known as paletas. The dietitian in me loves that parents are choosing to make tasty snacks for their kids that beat the heat that include real fruits (even veggies) instead of frozen, colored, sugar water. What made my friends and I giggle was remembering how we too had homemade ice pops when we were kids. However, we were raised in the suburbs in the early 80’s. Our ice pops consisted of frozen OJ concentrate, re-constituted with water, and then frozen again in the ice-pop molds. Not exactly gourmet!

Now pint-sized foodies are enjoying paletas (even the new name is fancy) made with on-trend, healthy ingredients like coconut, avocado, Greek yogurt, almond milk, even kale. And, while we were absorbing all sorts of plastic by-products, you can now buy BPA-free plastic molds and stainless steel molds. It’s amazing how far we’ve come!

Interested in making some yourself? A Google or Pinterest browse will supply you with a summer full of healthy frozen kids snack ideas. Here are two ideas to get you started. For the recipes, all the steps are the same:

1. Combine ingredients in a blender.
2. Blend until smooth.
3. Pour into the paleta molds.
4. Freeze.
5. ENJOY!

Blueberry-Kale Home-Made Ice Pops

You really need to blend this recipe well, otherwise the kale pieces are quite big which I found unpleasant (and I love kale). The kale is never truly hidden in these, but when well-blended, it’s an enjoyable part of their texture.

1 cup frozen blueberries 1 cup kale leaves, stems removed (ideally baby kale leaves) 2 cups coconut water

Raspberry-Almond-Coconut Home-Made Ice Pops

A luscious, dairy-free recipe!

1.5 cups almond milk 1/2 cup coconut milk 1 cup fresh or frozen raspberries 2 teaspoons honey pinch of salt

Combine your favorite fruits with other healthy ingredients for a delicious and refreshing summertime paleta treat!

Get more home-made ice pop recipes here.

Curing Picky Eaters (Can it Really be Done?)

I’m going to be truly Canadian here and apologize before I start this message. Because it is a bit of a rant. I really can’t help but rant here because supporting kids to enjoy healthy eating (from the very first bite) is my life’s passion. So, if hearing a person speak strongly about their passion isn’t your cup of tea. Then feel free to delete this. I won’t mind. But, if you want to know what I really feel about picky eating, then do read on because I’m being completely unfiltered here (maybe the heat’s making me a bit cranky?) Lately I’ve been hearing a lot about “curing” picky eaters.

Sure, I talk about “preventing” picky eating and “stopping” picky eating. Perhaps it’s just a lesson in semantics. But the word “cure” creates a strong, specific, emotional reaction in me.

We fundraise to “cure” cancer.

We search for a “cure” to AIDS.

We look to “cure” people of things that are fundamentally wrong. Un-natural states. Diseases.

Picky eating is stressful – for kids and their parents. It can have negative consequences on a child’s nutritional health. It’s absolutely worth intervening.

But, picky eating isn’t a disease.

Picky eating is a combination of a child’s temperament, developmental stage, and how we adults react to it.

Let me highlight this with a less emotional example – crawling. Is a child “cured” of crawling when they learn to walk? No. Crawling is a developmental stage. Some children crawl earlier. Some crawl later. And, some kids skip crawling all together, moving from scooting (or some other version of dragging themselves around) to walking.

And, how do kids move past crawling? Is it something that we adults do to them?

Somewhat, yes.

Kids are internally driven to learn to walk. We play an important role by creating an environment where they are encouraged to practice and build the skills that lead to walking. We allow them to pull themselves up on the furniture and “cruise” around from chair to table to sofa. We hold their hands above their heads as they take wobbly steps. We pull them up and bounce them on our laps. Some kids are more adventuresome in learning to walk. Some kids are more cautious. Both are normal, but we take different actions to support them to move ahead at their own speeds.

The same is true with eating. While kids are in a stage where they’re both loving power struggles and wary of foods, they’re also being internally driven to master new skills and grow up. We can create an environment where they are given the opportunities and are encouraged to try new foods. Or, we can (inadvertently) create an environment where they are prevented from learning to walk and kept in the crawling stage – i.e. where commonly used strategies with food actually fuel picky eating behaviour. We can restrict an adventuresome child to move too slow – causing them to rebel. And, we can force a cautious kid to move to quickly – causing them to either push back or withdraw.

So in a nutshell, no. I don’t believe that picky eaters can be “cured”.

What I know is that we can create an environment with food that supports kids to move through this stage with ease and grace, in a way that sets them up to have lifelong healthy eating habits. And, ensuring that they get the nutrition that they need. All while:

• Reducing the stress for everyone in the family,
• Celebrating and loving each child for who they are (adventuresome and cautious) and,
• Creating enjoyable family time at the table.

This is exactly what I devote my life to support Moms and Dads like you to do. How? Through my picky eater book and my individual picky eater nutrition services.

Picky Eater? 5 Great Benefits of Serving Meals Family Style

{Guest post for KidzEdge Magazine} Just like in the rest of their lives, kids (especially picky eaters) thrive with eating when parents provide both respect and boundaries with food. Yet this isn’t often talked about when experts provide advice on nutrition for kids.

A simple strategy for establishing respect and boundaries in ways that support kids to try new foods on their own is serving foods family-style.

Family-style is when serving dishes are placed in the middle of the table and everyone gets to serve himself or herself. Even toddlers and preschoolers can serve themselves with help.

I’ve had many families email me in disbelief that it’s worked like magic!

Why does it work? It’s not magic. It’s all about power and control.

• • Kids want to grow up and mimic what they see adults and older kids doing. Serving themselves seems like such a “big boy” or “big girl” thing to do.
  • Toddlers and preschoolers are in the “me do it” developmental stage. They take such pride in “helping”. Having them serve themselves uses this developmental stage to your advantage.
  • Serving family-style removes you from being a sparring partner for toddlers and preschoolers who love a negotiation. With no one to battle, many kids simply get down to the business of eating.
  • Cautious kids often crumble under the pressure of being forced to try something (also known as the one-bite rule). And, some crumble with even having a food present on their plate. Serving family-style allows them to proceed at their own pace. The offending food doesn’t have to be on their plate. But the opportunity is there for them to help themselves when they’re feeling brave enough to try it.
  • Toddlers and preschoolers often go through a stage where they’ll inspect each piece of food and reject it for microscopic flaws that are naked to the eye of anyone over the age of 18. Okay, I’m being facetious. But if your child is in this stage then you’ll know what I mean. Serving family-style helps you keep your cool because everyone else at the table can get on with eating their meal while your little one inspects each morsel. Therefore, resulting in a much more pleasant meal. And when mealtimes are pleasant, kids eat better.

Try serving meals family-style to see if this strategy will work its magic with your picky eaters.

Click here to get more tips to stop picky eating sent directly to your inbox.

The Foundational Step to Prevent Picky Eating

I recorded this video on Sunday as a part of the launch that I'm preparing for my new service that I'll be offering you. Click here to check out my picky eating nutrition services. I wanted to share the video with you (consider this a sneak peek) because it really is such an important step to take.

In the 6 years that I've worked with families with kids who are picky eaters, I've learned that it's not just the strategies that you use that are important to support your little one to try new foods on their own. The order in which you implement the strategies really counts too.

In this video I share what I've found to be the most important strategy to use first. A foundational step, really to support your fussy eater to try new foods on their own.

Enjoy,

Kristen

Food Rewards - How to Get Your Child to Behave Without Them

I was happy to meet Julie recently. She's a child behaviour and discipline specialist. As soon as I met her I knew that she would be the perfect person to answer a question that parents often ask me. You see, I teach (based on the research) that it's not good to use food as a bribe or reward for kids behaviour. So parents would ask me for alternatives. And that's where I hit the end of my expertise - I'm a child-feeding expert - not a child behaviour expert. Read on to see what Julie recommends as alternatives to food for teaching kids to have good behaviour.

Enjoy! Kristen

• Chocolate to stop crying.
• Dessert if you finish all of your dinner.
• Candy to buy a few extra minutes of peace & quiet.

Why Food Rewards Are A Bad Idea

Parents give food rewards to their children because it works……for the short term, plain and simple. However, the long term effects on the child may include poor appetite management, low self-esteem and distorted food control because they have now associated food with negative behaviour and/or pain. This learned behaviour could possibly leave your child with a potential food addiction which can carry right on through the teen years and well into adulthood.

There are many other ways to encourage your children to do what you expect of them without bribes, threats or rewards. Add more options to your Parenting toolbox so you are not left with food rewards as your only option.

5 of our BEST BEHAVIOUR Techniques (Without Food Rewards)

1. Expectations & Routines – create routines throughout the day with your expectations in them
2. Visuals – create a chart, poster or picture for each routine & reference them throughout the day
3. Choices – offer your child at least 2 things to choose from instead of just demanding something
4. Follow through – what you say…..you do!
5. Consistency - say & do the same thing each and every time the same behaviour shows up

Try all 5 together for the BEST RESULTS!

Find out more on this topic and many others at www.missbehaviour.ca.

Learn about Julie Romanowski, Mom, Early Childhood Consultant & owner of

Miss Behaviour: parenting coach & consultant service.

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Why Not Both Purees and Baby Led Weaning (BLW)?

{Guest post at Love Child Organics} I receive questions from many parents asking me whether they should use purees or finger foods (a method called Baby Led Weaning or BLW) as they start to introduce their babies to solid foods. I believe that there isn’t only one right way to start babies on solid foods. Why not use both purees and finger foods?

When introducing solid foods you’re achieving several goals:

1. Meeting your baby’s nutrition needs.
2. Providing the opportunity to learn eating skills.
3. Minimizing the risk of choking.

All three of these can be achieved through offering your baby purees, finger foods, or a combination of both.

Further, I’ve been practicing long enough to have met babies with all different temperaments (personalities). Some are little independent souls who never accept being fed by a parent. Parents of these little ones need to have a ton of patience as their child learns how to pick up food and actually get it in her mouth. On the other hand there are babies whom I call “happy little outsourcers”. They figure out that their parents are much more efficient at getting food in their mouths and so they’re happy to sit back and let you spoon every bite into them. Most babies fall somewhere in between these two extremes.

I’ve also seen that babies catch onto the skills of eating finger foods at a variety of ages – typically somewhere between 6 and 10 months.  This isn’t surprising since there’s always a range of ages when babies reach any developmental milestone. Some babies roll over before others, some crawl before others, and some pick up finger foods before others.

In my opinion, what’s most important is to:

• Provide a wide variety of healthy foods,
• Include iron-rich foods (twice a day is a good frequency),
• Follow your baby’s lead,
• Match your technique to your baby,
• Provide your baby with the opportunity to learn eating skills, and
• Use techniques that you’re comfortable with.

The result: you’re teaching your baby to have a positive experience with food.

Click here to get more tips on nutrition for babies.

Why it Hurts so Much when Your Child Refuses to Eat

{Guest post for Modern Mama} Why does it hurt so much when your child refuses to eat? Several reasons. You don’t have to be dietitian like me to be inundated with nutrition information. Every day we hear about how important it is to get enough of this vitamin and that mineral. We hear about the next super food. And, we hear about the latest food to avoid. When you become a parent this news comes at an even more rapid pace, because now you’re not just responsible for feeding yourself but you’re responsible for feeding your children too. But food is so much more than just fuel for our bodies.

Food is an expression of culture.

Each culture identifies themselves with what they do and don’t eat. Have you ever experienced culture shock when travelling? I bet you craved a food from home. Expats do too. For example, a (Canadian) friend of mine searched out and paid an exorbitant price for peanut butter when living overseas for 5 years – and she was living in Paris where there certainly isn’t a shortage of delicious food! Now that she’s back in Canada she spends her time searching for a decent croissant – go figure!

Food is also an expression of love.

I know that my Grannie’s applesauce was the best that I’ve ever tasted because hers had the extra ingredient of her love. I bet that you have similar memories. Each culture around the world shares food with family and friends. In fact, in most cultures it’s considered rude not to offer food and drink to a visitor to your home.

So it’s no wonder that it hurts so much when your child refuses to eat something that you’ve prepared. All of these layers of meaning come into play. You worry that they won’t get the nutrition that they need. You feel that they’ve rejected your love. And if it’s a cultural food, you feel that they’re rejecting not just you but your culture too.

Ouch!

When your child is a picky eater and he/she is constantly rejecting food these painful experiences can easily compound into guilt and shame. I’m a long-time fan of Brené Brown’s work. She describes so clearly how powerful shame can be. And how huge of a barrier it can be to creating positive change.

There are many reasons that contribute to a child not wanting to eat a particular food, and/or being a picky eater. Most of which have nothing related to rejection of you, your love, or your culture.

When your little refuses to eat a dish, acknowledge your feelings, recognize why it elicits such a strong reaction in you, and choose to take the high road and not engage in a battle. It’s not easy to do, but the right thing often isn’t the easy choice.

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Puree vs Baby Led Weaning (BLW): Can't We All Just Get Along?

{Guest post for Modern Mama} In a previous post I shared the pros and cons of the pureed and Baby Led Weaning (BLW) methods for introducing your baby to solid foods. I had a number of people call and email me with questions from that post. So I wanted to clarify and add to the points I shared in it.

In a nutshell, I believe that you shouldn’t feel the need to choose either puree or Bab Led Weaning (BLW). Combine the best from both methods and follow your baby’s lead.

Let me explain.

Having taught parents how to introduce solid foods to their babies since 2008, I welcome a number of the contributions that BLW is providing to the baby feeding conversation. However, I’m also seeing some negative effects too.

Positive Contributions of Baby Led Weaning

Feed Your Baby Family Foods

Children from about four to twelve months are fascinated by what the people around them are eating. In Baby Led Weaning you don’t make separate foods for your baby. Instead you provide your baby with the foods that you’re feeding the rest of your family. This is a great strategy! A favorite quote of mine from Child-Feeding Expert Ellyn Satter is:

“The goal of feeding your baby is to have him join you at the table…not for you to join him at the high chair.”

• Uses his curiosity about what everyone’s eating to your advantage. Many babies will reject pureed foods and reach out to grab what’s on other people’s plates.
• Teaches him that by sharing the same foods, he belongs as a member of your family. Sharing food is powerful for human beings. Every culture marks significant occasions by gathering to share food.
• Is less work than making your baby one meal and the rest of your family something completely different. Teaching your baby that she gets something completely different than other family members can lead to picky eating because you’ve set the precedent that she gets something different. Kids who have always eaten the same meal as the rest of the family don’t know that having something different is an option.
• Can be a wake-up call to how healthy (or not) your eating habits are. If you’re eating foods that you’re not willing to feed your baby, should you really be eating them?

Move Along to Finger Foods

Sometimes I see parents who love the idea (and control) of feeding their baby purees so much that they get stuck, keeping their baby in this phase too long. Babies are ready to try finger foods anywhere between six and nine months. Yes, it’s messy. And it can be painful to watch a child clumsily work for 10 minutes to get a single piece of food in his mouth. But, this is an important learning opportunity. Eating is a skill that must be learned through practice. It’s great that you’re an expert at using a spoon to get food into your baby’s mouth. But he needs to have the opportunity to learn how to do it himself. And finger foods are the first step. Because when we’re feeding our babies, we’re actually doing two things: 1) meeting their nutrition needs and 2) teaching eating skills. I’ve seen prolonged spoon-feeding of purees result in babies who are:

• Undernourished because they’re reject being “babied” and reject the spoon.
• Picky eaters because they didn’t get to experience the huge variety of tastes and textures that food comes in while they are still in the food-curious stage. A stage where kids are suspicious of new foods often starts somewhere between 12 to 24 months (although I’ve seen it start at nine months in a number of children). Some people call this stage “food neophobia”. I call it “food-wariness”.

Follow Your Baby’s Lead

Baby Led Weaning places a lot of emphasis on following your baby’s lead regarding how much food to eat.  Babies are born knowing when they’re hungry and when they’re satisfied. It’s normal for them to sometimes eat a lot and other times to eat very little. When babies are allowed to control how much food they eat, they have a normal growth pattern. When spoon-feeding your baby it’s very easy to force them to take extra bites by playing games (e.g. “here comes the airplane”), or sneaking in spoonful’s when your baby is distracted. Resisting this urge is important to allow your baby to grow normally and not be overfed (which may lead to obesity).

Negative Impacts

You Need to Choose

The negative impacts that I’m seeing when speaking with parents and reading Mom blogs and chat boards is the idea that you need to choose a method. You’re either on the puree team or you’re on the Baby Led Weaning team. We already have enough “mommy wars”, judgment, second-guessing ourselves, and guilt regarding breastfeeding and formula feeding. The last thing that we need is this baggage continuing into introducing solid foods.

Puree Traps

There’s nothing inherently wrong with pureed foods. In fact, today I’ve eaten oatmeal, yogurt, and butternut squash soup – all of which are purees! Purees are a texture that adults eat too. The warnings that many in the Baby Led Weaning camp attribute to purees actually has nothing to do with purees themselves. They’re just easier traps to fall into when spoon-feeding. But they’re also easily avoidable. For example, you can offer your baby pureed versions of family foods and follow their lead when spoon-feeding.

One Size Fits All

I’ve seen many different babies with different temperaments (personalities). Some love being spoon-fed and take more slowly to finger foods. Others never take anything off a spoon, and rely solely on finger foods. I believe that following your baby’s lead and providing a wide variety of tastes and textures is the way to go – including both purees and finger foods.

In summary, why pressure parents into feeling that they need to choose? All the positive contributions that BLW have provided can be realized with the inclusion of both puree and finger foods. Let’s celebrate that there are a multitude of “right” ways to parent!

Limiting Cow's Milk for Toddlers

Recently a parent asked me this question: “How much cow’s milk to offer toddlers. Do you allow them to regulate/drink as much as they want or just fill the cup up once and then when it's empty that's it? Being only 17 months, he can fill up pretty quick on milk during the meal, but I also don't want to be taking it away. I would prefer to just allow him to self regulate, but not sure what to do once the sippy cup is empty.”

Regulating Cow's Milk for Toddlers

It’s common for little ones to fill their tummies with milk instead of eating foods. To make sure that your child is getting the nutrition that he needs, use what I call the ‘control what's on the menu’ strategy regarding beverages (the same as with foods).

• Choose which meals/snacks you offer milk. In other words – you control what’s on the menu.
• Let him drink as much (i.e. as many glasses) of milk at those times as he wishes.
• At the other meals/snacks offer water.

This way there's no battle over how much milk he drinks. But he won't be able to fill his tummy with milk instead of eating at every meal/snack. Approx 500mL (2 cups) of milk provides calcium and vitamin D that little ones need without crowding out other nutritious foods. Little ones who drink more than 750mL (3 cups) of milk daily increase the risk that they’re not getting the nutrition that they need from eating a variety of foods. But again, it's not your job to referee how many cups he drinks at a meal/snack. Instead, use this as a guideline for how many meals/snacks to offer milk at. Restricting access (i.e. limiting the number of servings at a meal/snack) to a food or drink only increases a child’s desire for it. While restricting access usually comes from good intentions, it actually interferes with learning self-regulation. Another technique that can help make sure toddlers aren’t drinking too much cow’s milk is only offering milk in an open (lidless) cup. Often, toddlers who are drinking too much cow's milk are drinking it from a bottle or sippy cup. An open cup is more difficult for little ones to manage so it slows them down.

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Will Starting Solid Foods Make My Baby Sleep Through the Night?

{Guest Post at Love Child Organics} Exhausted parents often ask me: “Will starting my baby on solid foods make her sleep through the night?” I understand why Moms and Dads (desperate for some sleep) grasp on to this myth. However, it is a myth. Feeding your baby solid foods won’t make your baby sleep through the night.

Does Starting Solid Foods Make Baby Sleep?

It’s true that some babies start sleeping for longer stretches through the night at about the same time that they start solid foods. But it’s not that the solid foods have caused the sleeping. It’s that for many babies, the developmental stage when we start to feed them solid foods coincides with the developmental stage when they start sleeping for longer periods of time. Sorry exhausted Moms and Dads, it’s not the solid foods causing longer sleep.

While I’m at it busting myths related to starting solid foods, I’ll take the opportunity to address a couple more.

Do Big Babies Need Solid Foods Early?

Myth: Big babies need to be fed solid foods early. This is false. There’s no evidence to support starting solids early for babies who are at the top end of the growth curve. Breast milk and formula are very rich. And, your baby is likely an expert at breastfeeding or formula feeding by this age. Therefore, continuing exclusively breastfeeding or formula feeding until about 6 months is recommended (the same as average-size babies).

Do Small Babies Need Solid Foods Early?

Myth: Small babies need to be fed solid foods early. This is also false. There’s no evidence to support starting solids early for babies who are on the small end of the growth curve. As I mentioned above, breast milk and formula are very rich and your baby is an expert at breastfeeding or formula feeding by this age. So continue to exclusively breastfeed or formula feed your baby until about 6 months (the same as average-size babies).

In summary, starting solids early won’t provide big babies or small babies with extra nutrition. Nor will it make your baby sleep through the night.  Introduce solid foods when your baby is about 6 months old.

Ready to start your baby on solid foods? Here's how to start your baby with purees or Baby Led Weaning (BLW)

Solid-Food Strikes: Should You Worry & What to Do

Thank you to the VIP who asked me this question: “[My son is] 19 months. I still nurse him quite a bit, and for the last 4 days he has refused any kinds of foods…and wants to nurse every 30 mins. (He does this when he has a cold, and people tell me teething).  Besides driving me crazy, I am concerned about his nutrition...are these breastfeeding [solid food] strikes still providing him with what he needs?” 

Why Babies Do Solid Food Strikes

In general, it is quite normal for little ones to regress to just breastmilk or formula when they aren't feeling well, such as with a cold/flu or teething. It's similar to when we adults are sick with a cold or flu and all we consume for a couple of days is chicken soup.

Solid Food Strike: Should You Worry

Breastmilk or formula alone doesn't meet all of a 19 month old's nutrition needs. As long as it's just for a few days it doesn't have a significant impact on his overall nutritional health because our bodies store carbohydrate and fat for exactly these types of situations. Of course their bodies are smaller than ours so they can’t go as long without adequate nutrition as we adults can. If a breastfeeding strike, or perhaps a more accurate term is “solid-food strike”, lasts more than a couple of days I recommend having your little one seen by your health professional to determine if something else is going on and whether any supplemental intake is required. In other words, this is the point when individual assessment is needed – my generalized advice that I can provide in this form of Q & A is no longer appropriate.

Solid Food Strike: What to Do

Even if he’s refusing to eat solid foods, continue to provide the same opportunities to eat solids as you would normally. Although perhaps prepare smaller servings so that you waste less food if/when he refuses to eat. I recommend this for two reasons:

1. Just as quickly as kids get sick, they get better. The next opportunity to eat may be the one that he’s feeling better at and decides to eat a ton because his appetite’s returned.
2. Sticking to your routine will make it easier to transition back when he’s feeling better.

If you suspect that it’s teething that’s causing the solid-food strike, then plan snacks that are soothing for sore gums. Cold and/or smooth are characteristics that can be soothing for sore gums. Examples include:

• Healthy ice pops
• Dairy-free, sugar-free banana “ice cream” or fruit granitas
• Fruit or fruit/veggie purees such as unsweetened apple sauce
• Yogurt

More Super Smoothies (for Picky Eater Kids)!

It happened again yesterday. I was leading a workshop and a parent asked me: “Is it wrong to give my child smoothies with veggies in them? Is this considered hiding veggies?” Rarely a workshop goes by without a parent asking me about smoothies for their picky eater kids. They’re such a popular trend these days. While I touched on this in last week’s blog post; it’s such a common question that I get about healthy snacks for kids that I thought that it was worthwhile to expand on it today. And, share some ideas for smoothie ingredients.

I think that smoothies are a great way to provide vegetables, fruit, protein, and healthy fats for kids. BUT there are a couple of key points to follow to be using them to role model healthy eating and support your child to try new foods on their own:

1. Don’t lie about the ingredients. This is when you start veering into the “hiding” territory. If you’re waking up at 2am to puree foods so that your child doesn’t know that they’re in a smoothie, then you’ve strayed in the wrong direction. This doesn’t mean that you have to read out to your child a list every last ingredient in a smoothie. But don’t deny a food’s existence. Having your child help make the smoothie (like I suggested last week) is a great way for them to know what’s in it.
2. Continue to serve “obvious” vegetables (and eat them yourself). Yes, even if your child doesn’t eat them, you’re role modeling choosing to eat vegetables. You’re teaching an important life lesson that I promise is sinking in (even if the vegetables aren’t getting eaten currently).

As I mentioned above, smoothies are a great way to provide vegetables, fruit, protein and healthy fats in a way that many picky eaters will actually eat. Here are some ingredient ideas. Note that some of the ingredients (e.g. nuts) require a higher-powered blender. Mix and match the ingredients to find combinations that you love. And don’t’ be afraid to experiment to find new favs. My new favourite is pistachio-mint-banana, which I was introduced to while on vacation in California last month!

Smoothie Ingredients - Vegetables:

• Spinach
• Kale
• Avocado (also helps a smoothie be creamy)
• Carrot (I find carrot that’s already grated to blend better than larger pieces)

Smoothie Ingredients - Fruit (choose fresh or frozen fruit instead of juice):

• Banana (also helps a smoothie be creamy)
• Berries of any kind
• Peaches
• Mango
• Pineapple
• Orange
• Kiwi

Smoothie Ingredients - Protein:

• Yogurt
• Cashews (or cashew butter)
• Ground almonds (or almond butter)
• Peanut butter
• Pistachios
• Pumpkin seeds (or pumpkin seed butter)
• Hemp hearts

Smoothie Ingredients - Healthy Fats:

• See all the nut and seed ideas above (including hemp hearts)
• Avocado
• Flax oil (or ground flax seeds)
• Hemp oil
• Fish oil
• Vitamin D drops

Other tasty ingredients (that pack more of a taste punch than a nutritional punch):

• Dates
• Mint
• Cocoa powder

Looking for more ideas? Check out the recipe for my Sunshine Smoothie (Orange-Pineapple-Fresh Turmeric) or these green smoothies.

How Long Should I Breastfeed?

I shared this post previously with the Modern Mama Community. It got lots of attention so I wanted to share it with you too.

When leading my workshop for 9 – 18 month olds, I’m often asked this question. Sometimes moms are planning to return to work after being on maternity leave and are wondering how to make the transition. Other times, moms are receiving pressure from friends and family members to wean their babies (often these folks express their unsolicited opinion in an un-delicate ways).

The answer that I share with parents is actually quite simple (and perhaps surprising):

From a nutrition point of view there is no age that you need to stop breastfeeding.

The recommendations from the World Health Organization that both Health Canada/ Public Health Agency of Canada and provincial health ministries have adopted is:

“Breastfeed until 2 years or beyond.”

When you first start your little one on solid foods (baby food), breastmilk will meet the majority of your child’s nutrition needs. Gradually over time, other foods and beverages will play a larger and larger role in meeting your child’s nutrition needs.

I’ve been asked this question too so I want to be really direct here – even after your toddler is eating meals and snacks with lots of finger foods, breastmilk still provides more than just water. They’re still receiving a variety of healthy fats, carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals, and immune support. And of course there’s also the comfort and snuggle factor when breastfeeding.

From a nutrition point of view there are no hard and fast rules around when to stop breastfeeding. Some little ones wean themselves – at a wide range of ages. Some Moms stop breastfeeding because they’re returning to work. Some Moms stop because they feel “done”. No matter what age you stop breastfeeding, unfortunately, you’ll likely receive judgment from people about your decision. It’s another example of how we need to stop the “mommy wars”, put away the judgment and instead celebrate that there are a multitude of “right” ways to parent.

The bottom line: Breastfeed as long as you feel comfortable doing so - you are supporting your child’s nutrition needs.

A Super Way to Introduce Kids to the Kitchen: Smoothies

You’ve probably heard that it’s great to get your kids to help you in the kitchen to learn cooking skills, instill healthy eating habits, and more.

When I’m talking with moms and dads they often tell me one of two things about this:

1. It sounds like a great idea. But they just can’t imagine how to make it happen when they think about the amount of work and the mess.
2. Yes, they bake with their kids sometimes.

This is another great example of us health folks meaning one thing and parents hearing another.

Now don’t get defensive or let your mommy guilt kick in. I’m taking ownership of the miscommunication happening here.

When I mean “cook with your kids” I mean “get your kids involved in making healthy foods”.

I’m not against baking with kids. It’s fun too. Just don’t limit yourself to baking.

Invite your kids into the kitchen to help with simple, everyday tasks.

Choose one simple task for them to help with. Examples include:

• Washing veggies
• Measure out the dry quinoa/ rice and water
• Spinning and tearing up the lettuce for a salad
• Setting the table
• Placing dirty dishes in the dishwasher
• Smoothies

Smoothies are also a fantastic way to get kids in the kitchen:

•  They’re something that they can make from start to finish.
• They’re quick and relatively mess-free.
• They include healthy ingredients.
• I’ve never met a child who doesn’t LOVE to push the buttons on machines (from cell phones to elevators to blenders).

And, while sometimes parents confess to me that they “hide” foods in smoothies (e.g. kale, spinach), it’s not “hiding” when your kids are the ones putting the ingredients in the blender! They’re simply helping make a tasty dish that includes healthy ingredients!

Do you involve your kids in making smoothies? What are your favourite smoothie combinations? I'd love to hear from you (comment below)!