Food Rewards - How to Get Your Child to Behave Without Them

I was happy to meet Julie recently. She's a child behaviour and discipline specialist. As soon as I met her I knew that she would be the perfect person to answer a question that parents often ask me. You see, I teach (based on the research) that it's not good to use food as a bribe or reward for kids behaviour. So parents would ask me for alternatives. And that's where I hit the end of my expertise - I'm a child-feeding expert - not a child behaviour expert. Read on to see what Julie recommends as alternatives to food for teaching kids to have good behaviour.

Enjoy! Kristen

• Chocolate to stop crying.
• Dessert if you finish all of your dinner.
• Candy to buy a few extra minutes of peace & quiet.

Why Food Rewards Are A Bad Idea

Parents give food rewards to their children because it works……for the short term, plain and simple. However, the long term effects on the child may include poor appetite management, low self-esteem and distorted food control because they have now associated food with negative behaviour and/or pain. This learned behaviour could possibly leave your child with a potential food addiction which can carry right on through the teen years and well into adulthood.

There are many other ways to encourage your children to do what you expect of them without bribes, threats or rewards. Add more options to your Parenting toolbox so you are not left with food rewards as your only option.

5 of our BEST BEHAVIOUR Techniques (Without Food Rewards)

1. Expectations & Routines – create routines throughout the day with your expectations in them
2. Visuals – create a chart, poster or picture for each routine & reference them throughout the day
3. Choices – offer your child at least 2 things to choose from instead of just demanding something
4. Follow through – what you say…..you do!
5. Consistency - say & do the same thing each and every time the same behaviour shows up

Try all 5 together for the BEST RESULTS!

Find out more on this topic and many others at www.missbehaviour.ca.

Learn about Julie Romanowski, Mom, Early Childhood Consultant & owner of

Miss Behaviour: parenting coach & consultant service.

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"CHILDREN'S BEHAVIOUR & DISCIPLINE SPECIALISTS!" behaviour - discipline - tantrums - communication - interactions - daily routines – solutions

Why Not Both Purees and Baby Led Weaning (BLW)?

{Guest post at Love Child Organics} I receive questions from many parents asking me whether they should use purees or finger foods (a method called Baby Led Weaning or BLW) as they start to introduce their babies to solid foods. I believe that there isn’t only one right way to start babies on solid foods. Why not use both purees and finger foods?

When introducing solid foods you’re achieving several goals:

1. Meeting your baby’s nutrition needs.
2. Providing the opportunity to learn eating skills.
3. Minimizing the risk of choking.

All three of these can be achieved through offering your baby purees, finger foods, or a combination of both.

Further, I’ve been practicing long enough to have met babies with all different temperaments (personalities). Some are little independent souls who never accept being fed by a parent. Parents of these little ones need to have a ton of patience as their child learns how to pick up food and actually get it in her mouth. On the other hand there are babies whom I call “happy little outsourcers”. They figure out that their parents are much more efficient at getting food in their mouths and so they’re happy to sit back and let you spoon every bite into them. Most babies fall somewhere in between these two extremes.

I’ve also seen that babies catch onto the skills of eating finger foods at a variety of ages – typically somewhere between 6 and 10 months.  This isn’t surprising since there’s always a range of ages when babies reach any developmental milestone. Some babies roll over before others, some crawl before others, and some pick up finger foods before others.

In my opinion, what’s most important is to:

• Provide a wide variety of healthy foods,
• Include iron-rich foods (twice a day is a good frequency),
• Follow your baby’s lead,
• Match your technique to your baby,
• Provide your baby with the opportunity to learn eating skills, and
• Use techniques that you’re comfortable with.

The result: you’re teaching your baby to have a positive experience with food.

Click here to get more tips on nutrition for babies.

Why it Hurts so Much when Your Child Refuses to Eat

{Guest post for Modern Mama} Why does it hurt so much when your child refuses to eat? Several reasons. You don’t have to be dietitian like me to be inundated with nutrition information. Every day we hear about how important it is to get enough of this vitamin and that mineral. We hear about the next super food. And, we hear about the latest food to avoid. When you become a parent this news comes at an even more rapid pace, because now you’re not just responsible for feeding yourself but you’re responsible for feeding your children too. But food is so much more than just fuel for our bodies.

Food is an expression of culture.

Each culture identifies themselves with what they do and don’t eat. Have you ever experienced culture shock when travelling? I bet you craved a food from home. Expats do too. For example, a (Canadian) friend of mine searched out and paid an exorbitant price for peanut butter when living overseas for 5 years – and she was living in Paris where there certainly isn’t a shortage of delicious food! Now that she’s back in Canada she spends her time searching for a decent croissant – go figure!

Food is also an expression of love.

I know that my Grannie’s applesauce was the best that I’ve ever tasted because hers had the extra ingredient of her love. I bet that you have similar memories. Each culture around the world shares food with family and friends. In fact, in most cultures it’s considered rude not to offer food and drink to a visitor to your home.

So it’s no wonder that it hurts so much when your child refuses to eat something that you’ve prepared. All of these layers of meaning come into play. You worry that they won’t get the nutrition that they need. You feel that they’ve rejected your love. And if it’s a cultural food, you feel that they’re rejecting not just you but your culture too.

Ouch!

When your child is a picky eater and he/she is constantly rejecting food these painful experiences can easily compound into guilt and shame. I’m a long-time fan of Brené Brown’s work. She describes so clearly how powerful shame can be. And how huge of a barrier it can be to creating positive change.

There are many reasons that contribute to a child not wanting to eat a particular food, and/or being a picky eater. Most of which have nothing related to rejection of you, your love, or your culture.

When your little refuses to eat a dish, acknowledge your feelings, recognize why it elicits such a strong reaction in you, and choose to take the high road and not engage in a battle. It’s not easy to do, but the right thing often isn’t the easy choice.

Click here to get tips on how to get your child to eat sent directly to your inbox.

Puree vs Baby Led Weaning (BLW): Can't We All Just Get Along?

{Guest post for Modern Mama} In a previous post I shared the pros and cons of the pureed and Baby Led Weaning (BLW) methods for introducing your baby to solid foods. I had a number of people call and email me with questions from that post. So I wanted to clarify and add to the points I shared in it.

In a nutshell, I believe that you shouldn’t feel the need to choose either puree or Bab Led Weaning (BLW). Combine the best from both methods and follow your baby’s lead.

Let me explain.

Having taught parents how to introduce solid foods to their babies since 2008, I welcome a number of the contributions that BLW is providing to the baby feeding conversation. However, I’m also seeing some negative effects too.

Positive Contributions of Baby Led Weaning

Feed Your Baby Family Foods

Children from about four to twelve months are fascinated by what the people around them are eating. In Baby Led Weaning you don’t make separate foods for your baby. Instead you provide your baby with the foods that you’re feeding the rest of your family. This is a great strategy! A favorite quote of mine from Child-Feeding Expert Ellyn Satter is:

“The goal of feeding your baby is to have him join you at the table…not for you to join him at the high chair.”

• Uses his curiosity about what everyone’s eating to your advantage. Many babies will reject pureed foods and reach out to grab what’s on other people’s plates.
• Teaches him that by sharing the same foods, he belongs as a member of your family. Sharing food is powerful for human beings. Every culture marks significant occasions by gathering to share food.
• Is less work than making your baby one meal and the rest of your family something completely different. Teaching your baby that she gets something completely different than other family members can lead to picky eating because you’ve set the precedent that she gets something different. Kids who have always eaten the same meal as the rest of the family don’t know that having something different is an option.
• Can be a wake-up call to how healthy (or not) your eating habits are. If you’re eating foods that you’re not willing to feed your baby, should you really be eating them?

Move Along to Finger Foods

Sometimes I see parents who love the idea (and control) of feeding their baby purees so much that they get stuck, keeping their baby in this phase too long. Babies are ready to try finger foods anywhere between six and nine months. Yes, it’s messy. And it can be painful to watch a child clumsily work for 10 minutes to get a single piece of food in his mouth. But, this is an important learning opportunity. Eating is a skill that must be learned through practice. It’s great that you’re an expert at using a spoon to get food into your baby’s mouth. But he needs to have the opportunity to learn how to do it himself. And finger foods are the first step. Because when we’re feeding our babies, we’re actually doing two things: 1) meeting their nutrition needs and 2) teaching eating skills. I’ve seen prolonged spoon-feeding of purees result in babies who are:

• Undernourished because they’re reject being “babied” and reject the spoon.
• Picky eaters because they didn’t get to experience the huge variety of tastes and textures that food comes in while they are still in the food-curious stage. A stage where kids are suspicious of new foods often starts somewhere between 12 to 24 months (although I’ve seen it start at nine months in a number of children). Some people call this stage “food neophobia”. I call it “food-wariness”.

Follow Your Baby’s Lead

Baby Led Weaning places a lot of emphasis on following your baby’s lead regarding how much food to eat.  Babies are born knowing when they’re hungry and when they’re satisfied. It’s normal for them to sometimes eat a lot and other times to eat very little. When babies are allowed to control how much food they eat, they have a normal growth pattern. When spoon-feeding your baby it’s very easy to force them to take extra bites by playing games (e.g. “here comes the airplane”), or sneaking in spoonful’s when your baby is distracted. Resisting this urge is important to allow your baby to grow normally and not be overfed (which may lead to obesity).

Negative Impacts

You Need to Choose

The negative impacts that I’m seeing when speaking with parents and reading Mom blogs and chat boards is the idea that you need to choose a method. You’re either on the puree team or you’re on the Baby Led Weaning team. We already have enough “mommy wars”, judgment, second-guessing ourselves, and guilt regarding breastfeeding and formula feeding. The last thing that we need is this baggage continuing into introducing solid foods.

Puree Traps

There’s nothing inherently wrong with pureed foods. In fact, today I’ve eaten oatmeal, yogurt, and butternut squash soup – all of which are purees! Purees are a texture that adults eat too. The warnings that many in the Baby Led Weaning camp attribute to purees actually has nothing to do with purees themselves. They’re just easier traps to fall into when spoon-feeding. But they’re also easily avoidable. For example, you can offer your baby pureed versions of family foods and follow their lead when spoon-feeding.

One Size Fits All

I’ve seen many different babies with different temperaments (personalities). Some love being spoon-fed and take more slowly to finger foods. Others never take anything off a spoon, and rely solely on finger foods. I believe that following your baby’s lead and providing a wide variety of tastes and textures is the way to go – including both purees and finger foods.

In summary, why pressure parents into feeling that they need to choose? All the positive contributions that BLW have provided can be realized with the inclusion of both puree and finger foods. Let’s celebrate that there are a multitude of “right” ways to parent!

Limiting Cow's Milk for Toddlers

Recently a parent asked me this question: “How much cow’s milk to offer toddlers. Do you allow them to regulate/drink as much as they want or just fill the cup up once and then when it's empty that's it? Being only 17 months, he can fill up pretty quick on milk during the meal, but I also don't want to be taking it away. I would prefer to just allow him to self regulate, but not sure what to do once the sippy cup is empty.”

Regulating Cow's Milk for Toddlers

It’s common for little ones to fill their tummies with milk instead of eating foods. To make sure that your child is getting the nutrition that he needs, use what I call the ‘control what's on the menu’ strategy regarding beverages (the same as with foods).

• Choose which meals/snacks you offer milk. In other words – you control what’s on the menu.
• Let him drink as much (i.e. as many glasses) of milk at those times as he wishes.
• At the other meals/snacks offer water.

This way there's no battle over how much milk he drinks. But he won't be able to fill his tummy with milk instead of eating at every meal/snack. Approx 500mL (2 cups) of milk provides calcium and vitamin D that little ones need without crowding out other nutritious foods. Little ones who drink more than 750mL (3 cups) of milk daily increase the risk that they’re not getting the nutrition that they need from eating a variety of foods. But again, it's not your job to referee how many cups he drinks at a meal/snack. Instead, use this as a guideline for how many meals/snacks to offer milk at. Restricting access (i.e. limiting the number of servings at a meal/snack) to a food or drink only increases a child’s desire for it. While restricting access usually comes from good intentions, it actually interferes with learning self-regulation. Another technique that can help make sure toddlers aren’t drinking too much cow’s milk is only offering milk in an open (lidless) cup. Often, toddlers who are drinking too much cow's milk are drinking it from a bottle or sippy cup. An open cup is more difficult for little ones to manage so it slows them down.

Get more nutrition tips for toddlers directly into your email inbox.

Will Starting Solid Foods Make My Baby Sleep Through the Night?

{Guest Post at Love Child Organics} Exhausted parents often ask me: “Will starting my baby on solid foods make her sleep through the night?” I understand why Moms and Dads (desperate for some sleep) grasp on to this myth. However, it is a myth. Feeding your baby solid foods won’t make your baby sleep through the night.

Does Starting Solid Foods Make Baby Sleep?

It’s true that some babies start sleeping for longer stretches through the night at about the same time that they start solid foods. But it’s not that the solid foods have caused the sleeping. It’s that for many babies, the developmental stage when we start to feed them solid foods coincides with the developmental stage when they start sleeping for longer periods of time. Sorry exhausted Moms and Dads, it’s not the solid foods causing longer sleep.

While I’m at it busting myths related to starting solid foods, I’ll take the opportunity to address a couple more.

Do Big Babies Need Solid Foods Early?

Myth: Big babies need to be fed solid foods early. This is false. There’s no evidence to support starting solids early for babies who are at the top end of the growth curve. Breast milk and formula are very rich. And, your baby is likely an expert at breastfeeding or formula feeding by this age. Therefore, continuing exclusively breastfeeding or formula feeding until about 6 months is recommended (the same as average-size babies).

Do Small Babies Need Solid Foods Early?

Myth: Small babies need to be fed solid foods early. This is also false. There’s no evidence to support starting solids early for babies who are on the small end of the growth curve. As I mentioned above, breast milk and formula are very rich and your baby is an expert at breastfeeding or formula feeding by this age. So continue to exclusively breastfeed or formula feed your baby until about 6 months (the same as average-size babies).

In summary, starting solids early won’t provide big babies or small babies with extra nutrition. Nor will it make your baby sleep through the night.  Introduce solid foods when your baby is about 6 months old.

Ready to start your baby on solid foods? Here's how to start your baby with purees or Baby Led Weaning (BLW)

Solid-Food Strikes: Should You Worry & What to Do

Thank you to the VIP who asked me this question: “[My son is] 19 months. I still nurse him quite a bit, and for the last 4 days he has refused any kinds of foods…and wants to nurse every 30 mins. (He does this when he has a cold, and people tell me teething).  Besides driving me crazy, I am concerned about his nutrition...are these breastfeeding [solid food] strikes still providing him with what he needs?” 

Why Babies Do Solid Food Strikes

In general, it is quite normal for little ones to regress to just breastmilk or formula when they aren't feeling well, such as with a cold/flu or teething. It's similar to when we adults are sick with a cold or flu and all we consume for a couple of days is chicken soup.

Solid Food Strike: Should You Worry

Breastmilk or formula alone doesn't meet all of a 19 month old's nutrition needs. As long as it's just for a few days it doesn't have a significant impact on his overall nutritional health because our bodies store carbohydrate and fat for exactly these types of situations. Of course their bodies are smaller than ours so they can’t go as long without adequate nutrition as we adults can. If a breastfeeding strike, or perhaps a more accurate term is “solid-food strike”, lasts more than a couple of days I recommend having your little one seen by your health professional to determine if something else is going on and whether any supplemental intake is required. In other words, this is the point when individual assessment is needed – my generalized advice that I can provide in this form of Q & A is no longer appropriate.

Solid Food Strike: What to Do

Even if he’s refusing to eat solid foods, continue to provide the same opportunities to eat solids as you would normally. Although perhaps prepare smaller servings so that you waste less food if/when he refuses to eat. I recommend this for two reasons:

1. Just as quickly as kids get sick, they get better. The next opportunity to eat may be the one that he’s feeling better at and decides to eat a ton because his appetite’s returned.
2. Sticking to your routine will make it easier to transition back when he’s feeling better.

If you suspect that it’s teething that’s causing the solid-food strike, then plan snacks that are soothing for sore gums. Cold and/or smooth are characteristics that can be soothing for sore gums. Examples include:

• Healthy ice pops
• Dairy-free, sugar-free banana “ice cream” or fruit granitas
• Fruit or fruit/veggie purees such as unsweetened apple sauce
• Yogurt

More Super Smoothies (for Picky Eater Kids)!

It happened again yesterday. I was leading a workshop and a parent asked me: “Is it wrong to give my child smoothies with veggies in them? Is this considered hiding veggies?” Rarely a workshop goes by without a parent asking me about smoothies for their picky eater kids. They’re such a popular trend these days. While I touched on this in last week’s blog post; it’s such a common question that I get about healthy snacks for kids that I thought that it was worthwhile to expand on it today. And, share some ideas for smoothie ingredients.

I think that smoothies are a great way to provide vegetables, fruit, protein, and healthy fats for kids. BUT there are a couple of key points to follow to be using them to role model healthy eating and support your child to try new foods on their own:

1. Don’t lie about the ingredients. This is when you start veering into the “hiding” territory. If you’re waking up at 2am to puree foods so that your child doesn’t know that they’re in a smoothie, then you’ve strayed in the wrong direction. This doesn’t mean that you have to read out to your child a list every last ingredient in a smoothie. But don’t deny a food’s existence. Having your child help make the smoothie (like I suggested last week) is a great way for them to know what’s in it.
2. Continue to serve “obvious” vegetables (and eat them yourself). Yes, even if your child doesn’t eat them, you’re role modeling choosing to eat vegetables. You’re teaching an important life lesson that I promise is sinking in (even if the vegetables aren’t getting eaten currently).

As I mentioned above, smoothies are a great way to provide vegetables, fruit, protein and healthy fats in a way that many picky eaters will actually eat. Here are some ingredient ideas. Note that some of the ingredients (e.g. nuts) require a higher-powered blender. Mix and match the ingredients to find combinations that you love. And don’t’ be afraid to experiment to find new favs. My new favourite is pistachio-mint-banana, which I was introduced to while on vacation in California last month!

Smoothie Ingredients - Vegetables:

• Spinach
• Kale
• Avocado (also helps a smoothie be creamy)
• Carrot (I find carrot that’s already grated to blend better than larger pieces)

Smoothie Ingredients - Fruit (choose fresh or frozen fruit instead of juice):

• Banana (also helps a smoothie be creamy)
• Berries of any kind
• Peaches
• Mango
• Pineapple
• Orange
• Kiwi

Smoothie Ingredients - Protein:

• Yogurt
• Cashews (or cashew butter)
• Ground almonds (or almond butter)
• Peanut butter
• Pistachios
• Pumpkin seeds (or pumpkin seed butter)
• Hemp hearts

Smoothie Ingredients - Healthy Fats:

• See all the nut and seed ideas above (including hemp hearts)
• Avocado
• Flax oil (or ground flax seeds)
• Hemp oil
• Fish oil
• Vitamin D drops

Other tasty ingredients (that pack more of a taste punch than a nutritional punch):

• Dates
• Mint
• Cocoa powder

Looking for more ideas? Check out the recipe for my Sunshine Smoothie (Orange-Pineapple-Fresh Turmeric) or these green smoothies.

How Long Should I Breastfeed?

I shared this post previously with the Modern Mama Community. It got lots of attention so I wanted to share it with you too.

When leading my workshop for 9 – 18 month olds, I’m often asked this question. Sometimes moms are planning to return to work after being on maternity leave and are wondering how to make the transition. Other times, moms are receiving pressure from friends and family members to wean their babies (often these folks express their unsolicited opinion in an un-delicate ways).

The answer that I share with parents is actually quite simple (and perhaps surprising):

From a nutrition point of view there is no age that you need to stop breastfeeding.

The recommendations from the World Health Organization that both Health Canada/ Public Health Agency of Canada and provincial health ministries have adopted is:

“Breastfeed until 2 years or beyond.”

When you first start your little one on solid foods (baby food), breastmilk will meet the majority of your child’s nutrition needs. Gradually over time, other foods and beverages will play a larger and larger role in meeting your child’s nutrition needs.

I’ve been asked this question too so I want to be really direct here – even after your toddler is eating meals and snacks with lots of finger foods, breastmilk still provides more than just water. They’re still receiving a variety of healthy fats, carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals, and immune support. And of course there’s also the comfort and snuggle factor when breastfeeding.

From a nutrition point of view there are no hard and fast rules around when to stop breastfeeding. Some little ones wean themselves – at a wide range of ages. Some Moms stop breastfeeding because they’re returning to work. Some Moms stop because they feel “done”. No matter what age you stop breastfeeding, unfortunately, you’ll likely receive judgment from people about your decision. It’s another example of how we need to stop the “mommy wars”, put away the judgment and instead celebrate that there are a multitude of “right” ways to parent.

The bottom line: Breastfeed as long as you feel comfortable doing so - you are supporting your child’s nutrition needs.

A Super Way to Introduce Kids to the Kitchen: Smoothies

You’ve probably heard that it’s great to get your kids to help you in the kitchen to learn cooking skills, instill healthy eating habits, and more.

When I’m talking with moms and dads they often tell me one of two things about this:

1. It sounds like a great idea. But they just can’t imagine how to make it happen when they think about the amount of work and the mess.
2. Yes, they bake with their kids sometimes.

This is another great example of us health folks meaning one thing and parents hearing another.

Now don’t get defensive or let your mommy guilt kick in. I’m taking ownership of the miscommunication happening here.

When I mean “cook with your kids” I mean “get your kids involved in making healthy foods”.

I’m not against baking with kids. It’s fun too. Just don’t limit yourself to baking.

Invite your kids into the kitchen to help with simple, everyday tasks.

Choose one simple task for them to help with. Examples include:

• Washing veggies
• Measure out the dry quinoa/ rice and water
• Spinning and tearing up the lettuce for a salad
• Setting the table
• Placing dirty dishes in the dishwasher
• Smoothies

Smoothies are also a fantastic way to get kids in the kitchen:

•  They’re something that they can make from start to finish.
• They’re quick and relatively mess-free.
• They include healthy ingredients.
• I’ve never met a child who doesn’t LOVE to push the buttons on machines (from cell phones to elevators to blenders).

And, while sometimes parents confess to me that they “hide” foods in smoothies (e.g. kale, spinach), it’s not “hiding” when your kids are the ones putting the ingredients in the blender! They’re simply helping make a tasty dish that includes healthy ingredients!

Do you involve your kids in making smoothies? What are your favourite smoothie combinations? I'd love to hear from you (comment below)!

Get Stocked! Keep Your Kitchen Ready for Action

March is Nutrition Month!

This month I've hand-picked to share with you two tips from national Nutrition Month.

I chose this Nutrition Month tip because it really is a key way to make meals happen for your family. You don't need a fancy kitchen to make meals happen. But having it well-stocked really does help.

Yes, the photo is of my shelves. What do I keep on-hand?

• Lots of herbs and spices to make a wide veriety of dishes from simple, basic ingredients.
• I eat a lot of beans - both from dry and canned.
• Grains like quinoa, rice (brown, white, aborio, wild), oats, buckwheat groats, pasta, and polenta (both cornmeal that I make from scratch and the pre-made rolls).
• Stir-fry ingredients like coconut milk
• Basics for many recipes like canned tomatoes, several vinegars and vegetable oils
• Quick snacks like popping corn, almonds (in the fridge), and cocoa nibs
• Baking ingredients like canned pumpkin, cocoa powder, flour, sugar, vanilla, baking soda, baking powder, cornstarch.

Nutrition Month Tip #10: Get Stocked! Keep Your Kitchen Ready for Action

It’s easier to cook when you have basic ingredients in your kitchen. Keep staple foods on hand, such as:

• Fresh and frozen vegetables and fruit
• Whole grains, such as quinoa, oats, brown rice andbarley
• Milk, cheese and yogurt
• Eggs
• Canned salmon and chunk light tuna
• Canned or dried legumes, such as chickpeas, blackbeans and lentils
• Spices, garlic, vinegars and oils

​With a well-stocked pantry, fridge and freezer, you’ll be ready to cook quick meals.

For more information: http://www.dietitians.ca/Your-Health/Plan-Shop-Cook/Shop-Smart.aspx

My Son Doesn't Feed Himself. What Should I Do?

{Guest post I contributed to the Love Child Organics blog. } Thanks to the Love Child Organics community member who asked a question regarding her 9 month old son. “My son doesn't feed himself. He is 9 months and has been eating finger foods since about 7 months. Is there something I can do to help this? Or will it just come to him?”

 Without doing a full assessment I can't tell you for sure why he isn't feeding himself. Here are common causes that I see and their solutions.

Why Babies Don't Feed Themselves

1. Medical conditions or developmental concerns. Because you didn't mention it, I'm assuming that your son doesn't have any medical conditions or developmental concerns that would affect his dexterity/ motor control.
2. Missing role models. Kids learn from watching others - particularly older kids and adults. If no one else is eating there isn't anyone to act as a role model for how to do it. Also, eating is a social activity for us human beings. Kids of all ages eat better when adults join them at the table.
3. Temperament (also known as personality). Some little ones are what I call "outsourcers". They're happy to sit back and let others do things for them instead of doing the hard work of figuring it out themselves. Because learning to self-feed does take work at this stage.
4. Over-helpful caregivers. Sometimes parents (and other caregivers) have such strong desires to help their little ones that they jump in and "help" instead of sitting back and allowing their little one figure things out for themselves. This can sometimes also be fuelled by impatience and/or anxiety about your little one getting enough to eat. The result is a learned helplessness.

If the cause is #1 then working with an Occupational Therapist can be a great help.

The solution to #2 is to sit and eat with your child. Ideally, eat the same foods too. This way you're sending a message loud and clear that you want him to eat what’s in front of him. And, you’re creating the social environment that’s most conducive to eating and learning.

The solution to #3 and #4 is the same. Resist the urge to jump in and "help". You're actually being more helpful by holding off and allowing him to learn the skills himself.  

Bottom Line: Just like learning any new skill, kids learn to feed themselves with finger foods at different rates. Join your child at the table and give them the opportunity to practice. They’ll learn this new skill in their own timing that’s perfect just for them.

Click this link to get tips on introducing solid foods, finger foods, and more child nutrition topics in your inbox.

Baby Feeding: What Does it Mean When I See Whole Pieces?

Thank you to the parent at a recent workshop in Victoria BC who asked this baby feeding question: "What does it mean when I see whole pieces of food in my baby’s poop?" It’s amazing the topics of conversation that you have once becoming a parent, eh?! This Mom had recently started feeding her baby finger foods and was seeing pieces of food in her baby’s diaper. It’s often not talked about, but when you start to feed your baby solid foods, you will see a change in their bowel movements.

When it comes to baby feeding: Change what’s going in and it’ll change what comes out the other end.

It’s normal for babies to have smellier and more solid bowel movements once they start eating solid foods. This will be particularly noticeable if you were exclusively breastfeeding your baby before introducing solid foods.

It’s also normal for bowel movements to be less frequent. They may not be every day. This doesn’t mean that your baby is constipated. It’s the normal transition from very quickly digested (and naturally low fibre) breastmilk or formula to solids which require more digestion.

Signs of constipation include your baby straining (which is different than the (hilarious) “I’m concentrating” face that many babies make) or being in pain when having a bowel movement.

Baby Feeding: So, What Does it Mean When You See Whole Pieces?

To get back to this Mom’s question, it’s normal to see whole pieces of food in your baby’s poop. Corn is a classic for making diaper appearances. It just means that they swallowed the piece without chewing/mashing it enough for their stomach and intestine to digest it. There’s no harm in this. It’s part of the process of learning to eat.

Another bowel movement appearance that shocks and worries many parents for the first time happens after eating beets. Beets will cause baby’s poop to be dark red. It’s not blood. It’s just the molecules that make beets ruby red coming out the other end. These same molecules can cause urine to be pink too.

The Mom went on to ask me if their baby got any nutrition from the pieces of food. The answer is, for the most part no. The food’s passed through largely undigested so their body didn’t have the opportunity to absorb the nutrients from this piece.

In summary, as your baby starts to eat more solid foods, expect their bowel movements to change.

Looking for more help with feeding your baby? Check out my In-Home Instruction service.

How to Stop Kids Begging for Food While You’re Cooking

Kids begging for food while you're cooking. Do you experience this common situation? You rush home from work and daycare pick-up, drop your bag and coat, and immediately get to work in the kitchen making dinner (or should I say figuring out what’s for dinner and then making it?). As you’re cooking, your little one suddenly is famished. They’re underfoot, claiming that they’re “staaaarrrvvving” and begging you for something to eat. Saying that they couldn’t possibly wait the 10 minutes until dinner is ready.

What do you do? Do you reach into the fridge or cupboard for a stop-gap snack? Hand them pieces of food from the cutting board? Shoo them away (again and again), telling them that dinner will be ready in 10 minutes?

If you’re like many of the parents who ask me how to handle this situation, then you likely give them a stop-gap snack or pieces of food from the cutting board because it feels awful to tell a hungry child “no”. The thanks that you get? When it’s time to sit down for dinner, your child tells you that they aren’t hungry and they misbehave to get out of having to continue sitting at the table.

Having kids underfoot while you’re cooking isn’t a good idea for several reasons:

1. Safety. It’s not safe to have little ones underfoot when you’ve got sharp knives, hot pans, and scalding water. The kitchen should be a ‘no go zone’ for kids when adults are cooking. That is unless you’re cooking together.
2. Speed. Stopping to give handouts slows you down and interrupts your thoughts about dinner. So it actually makes it take longer to get dinner on the table.
3. Encouraging not eating dinner. Little kids find sitting still a challenge – including sitting still to eat meals. By feeding them a stop-gap snack or food off the cutting board, you’re taking away one of the most powerful allies that you have in getting kids to sit and eat a meal – hunger. Your good intentions are actually getting in the way of creating the family meal experience that you’re aiming for.
4. Poorer nutrition. Studies show that kids who snack all day have less balanced diets. They eat more than the recommended servings of grain products and fewer protein foods and vegetables and fruit.

Strategies to Stop Kids Begging Food When Cooking

In working with families over the past 8 years, I’ve come up with a few, practical ways to stop what I call ‘panhandling for food’.  Perhaps one of these will be the right solution in your home.

They all start with you sitting down with your child and explaining that there will be a new household rule: kids aren’t allowed in the kitchen while Mom or Dad is cooking dinner.

• After School (Daycare) Snack. Serve your child a planned snack while she is sitting at the table.  This is a great option for families who eat a later dinner (at least 1 hour after the snack ends). Serve foods from 2 or more food groups. It can be as simple as offering your child the food that she didn’t eat from her lunch. I’ve known countless kids who happily tuck into the very same food from their lunchbox that didn’t pass the test at lunchtime. I have no idea why but it doesn’t matter. If it was a healthy choice at lunch, it’s an equally healthy choice at after school/daycare snack. Enjoy talking with your child about her day while you start preparing dinner.  Why it works: you’re sticking to your role of choosing when meals and snacks are served, eating at the table is reinforced, you can control what’s on the menu at this snack time to keep balance in your child’s eating, your child gets fed when she’s hungry, there’s enough time for your child to build an appetite again before dinner, your child isn’t a safety hazard in the kitchen.
• Crudites at the table. ‘Crudites’ is just a fancy term for raw veggies. Before starting to prepare dinner, cut up some raw veggies and place them in a bowl. Serve them at the table. Let your child come to the table and eat as many veggies as he wishes. Why it works: it’s perfectly normal to have hors d’oeuvres before a meal, you’re sticking to your role of choosing when meals and snacks are served, eating at the table is reinforced, you can control what’s on the menu to keep balance in your child’s eating, your child gets fed when he’s hungry, your child isn’t a safety hazard in the kitchen.
• Screentime. First let me clarify that I’m not a proponent of copious amounts of screentime for kids. However, I do think that this is a practical case of the lesser of two evils. If you’re going to allow your child to watch TV, use a tablet, be on the computer, etc, I think that a good time to do it is to buy you 20 minutes to put a meal on the table. Why it works: you’re sticking to your role of choosing when meals and snacks are served, eating at the table is reinforced, your child isn’t a safety hazard in the kitchen.

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Can I give finger foods if my baby doesn’t have teeth yet?

{Guest Post at Love Child Organics } Both in workshops and when providing in-home child feeding sessions, I’m often asked this question: "Can I give finger foods if my baby doesn’t have teeth yet?

The short answer is: yes! You don’t need to wait until little ones have teeth before feeding them finger foods.

Babies are ready for finger foods by 7 months, if not before. Many won’t have teeth (or very many teeth) by this age.

Your baby is likely ready for finger foods when you see the following:

• She can bring food to her mouth using her hand.
• He can eat thicker purees (the consistency of mashed potatoes).
• She can sit upright with minimal support.
• He is very interested in watching people eat and the food on your plate. He May even be grabbing for people’s food, plates, cups etc.

It’s amazing to watch what little ones can handle with their gums. So go ahead and offer finger food versions of a wide variety of foods that your family eats.

Bottom Line: Enjoy watching your little one discover the amazing variety of tastes and textures that food comes in!

For more info on baby food - both purees and Baby-Led Weaning (BLW), check out this blog post.

Does My 7 month old Baby Need Water?

Thank you to the VIP who asked this question: "Does my 7 month old baby need water?".  The short answer is: No. Seven month olds don’t need water. But, it’ a great time to start offering it to them anyways. Let me explain.

Baby Need Water?

We offer little ones solid foods starting at about 6 months of age for two reasons:

1. To meet their nutritional needs.
2. To provide the opportunity to learn eating skills.

At 7 months old, your baby will still be nipple feeding (i.e. breastfeeding or formula feeding) several times a day.  They’ll be meeting their need for fluids through nipple feeding. So, your little one doesn’t need water to meet their nutritional needs.

Open Cups

Learning to drink from a cup is a learned skill. Any time from 6 months onwards is a great time to start. From time-to-time, when your little one is sitting at the table, offer them a small amount of water (I’m talking an inch deep or less) in an open (lidless) cup. Yes, the first few times the water will pour down their face. A clever mom in one of my recent workshops shared how she dresses her little one in only a diaper when doing this – there’s less clean-up. Over time your little one will learn how to hold on to the cup, tip their head up just the right amount, and close their lips around the cup. It’s amazing how fast and how young they pick up this skill! Now you may have noticed that so far I’ve only been talking about using an open/ lidless cup.

Sippy Cups

That’s because kids don’t actually need a sippy cup. Sippy cups are helpful for parents because it means less spills. But they aren’t actually a developmental need for kids. In fact, sippy cups with the valves/ bladders in them teach your kids to suck – not sip. They aren’t actually any skill progression from a bottle. Removing the valve/ bladder gets kids moving back towards sipping instead of sucking. But it also means more spills. Some speech language professionals recommend cups with straws instead of sippy cups because of concerns about oral movement and development.

The Bottom Line

While your 7 month old baby doesn’t need water yet, it’s a great time to start offering the opportunity to learn how to drink from a cup. Sippy cups and cups with straws are handy ways to limit spills. But they aren’t needed for kids to learn how to drink from a cup.

Beets: What to Do with Them

Aah, beets. These versatile root veggies are one of my favourites! As a dietitian, part of my job is to know how to prepare healthy foods like beets. So I’m sharing a couple of my favourite ways to use them. A classic storage, root veggie, you can find local ones (fairly cheap) throughout the winter here in Victoria, BC.

And, because of their naturally sweet taste, many kids like them.

However, people often wonder what the heck to do with them. Here are some of my favourite ways to use them.

Grated – Raw Beets

Beets don’t even need to be cooked. Simply wash them, peel off the outer skin, and grate them into a salad.

It doesn’t get any easier than that!

Grated veggies are a fantastic finger food for little ones to practice that pincer grasp.

However, be warned – beets stain! Pick up pieces from all surfaces (including the floor) quickly.

Grated, raw beets are a delicious part of my lentil-farro power bowl (full meal salad).

Roasted Beets

When I’m turning on the oven to cook something, I often pop a few beets in at the same time – either for a warm side-dish today, or for chilled as a salad in the future.

1. Wash beets and cut off any long tails or furry top bits.
2. Cut a piece of tin foil large enough to wrap the beet in. Lay it on the counter, shiny side up. Pour a dollop of olive oil in the centre.
3. Roll the beet around in the oil to coat it. Wrap the tin foil tightly around the beet.
4. Repeat for each beet.
5. Place wrapped beets on a cookie tray or in a baking dish.
6. Roast until tender, how long this takes depends on the size of the beets and the heat of your oven – at 350 degrees F it may take as long as 2 hours; at 425 degrees F it may take as short as 45 min.

Beet and Bean Borscht

Check out this fantastic hearty and tasty full meal in one pot, vegetarian borscht here. While the recipe takes a little longer to cook, it makes a lot of soup. And, this soup tastes great re-heated. Freeze leftovers (without the yogurt or sour cream topping) in small batches. I wanted to share it not only because it’s so tasty, but because it’s handy to have healthy meals like this in the freezer when the busy holiday season starts up.

Beans, beets and cabbage are all super healthy (and inexpensive) that I’m always looking for new recipes. I picked up this little pamphlet at the Saskatchewan pavilion at the 2010 Olympics. Did you know that we grow tons of beans, split peas and lentils here in Canada?

If the mixed textures in this soup are too advanced for your little one, simply take beans and pieces of the veggies out of the soup and place them in your little one’s dish/ on their tray.

What to do About Halloween Candy

Hallowe’en is a fun and exciting holiday for kids. And, while as a parent you may not love the idea of all that Halloween candy, the last thing that you want to add to an already hectic day is a battle over food. Here’s some ideas about how to handle all that Halloween candy.

Before I go into the ideas, first let me tell you that I’ve never come across any research studies where they specifically looked at family rules for Halloween candy and how it impacted kids’ life-long eating habits. But there have been studies about how sweets/ junk food in general are handled in the home and it’s impact on life-long eating habits, so that’s on which I’m basing my advice.

Toddlers, Preschoolers and Halloween Candy

Take advantage of toddlers’ and preschoolers’ naiveté and short attention spans. Limit the number of homes at which you trick or treat to only 2 or 3. This way they get to be involved in the fun of the holiday, but there isn’t too much candy received.

School-Age Kids and Halloween Candy

For school-age kids, I turn to the excellent advice of expert Ellyn Satter.  I can’t say it any better than her, and because of copyright reasons I can’t cut and paste her advice, so use this link to read her short article here.

Candy Fairy / Switch Witch

I also like the idea of the growing tradition of the ‘Candy Fairy’ or ‘Switch Witch’. Inspired by the Tooth Fairy, kids can choose to leave out their candy for the ‘Candy Fairy’ who takes the candy away and leaves behind money. I’ve heard that some dentists and others are even getting in the act so that parents don’t have to pay out of pocket. An important point regarding this idea is that kids need to be able to have the choice of keeping their candy or leaving it for the ‘Switch Witch’. Remember, as Ellyn Satter shares, it’s important for kids to be given the opportunity to learn how to self-regulate with candy. The reality is that unhealthy food is all around us. It’s an important life skill to be able to make healthy choices.

And, if you’re still feeling anxious about your child and all that Halloween candy, I recommend taking a listen to exceptional story-teller Stuart MacLean tell about the antics of his fictional family. Here's the link to the podcast. I listened to it on the weekend and was laughing out loud. Not only was I laughing at the story that Stuart was telling, I was transported back to my own childhood and how my brother and I had such different Hallowe’en candy strategies. A child’s Halloween candy strategy is such an indication of their personality. Me: I ate it quickly. My brother’s pile, on the other hand, seemed to last forever, beckoning to me as I walked past his open bedroom door. I’m sure that he ate it so slowly, and put it on display, just to torture me. What do you remember about how you, and any siblings, managed your hauls?

Happy Halloween!

Check out my picky eating book for more successful tips for getting kids to eat well.

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Could What I'm Feeding My Toddler be Keeping them Awake?

Could What I’m Feeding my Toddler be Keeping them Awake? I'm often asked by parents about what foods are best at bedtime. And, if there's anything they shouldn't feed their kids before bed. There’s a lot of old wives tales and urban myths about foods and food ingredients either helping or hindering sleep, thus keeping toddlers awake. However, there isn’t strong evidence connecting specific foods and sleep –either preventing sleep or causing kids to fall asleep (and stay asleep).

Here’s a roundup of the most common foods that we hear are connected with sleep.

A Glass of Warm Milk

A glass of warm milk is a classic trick to help kids fall asleep. However, it’s unlikely that it’s the milk itself that makes kids sleepy. What’s more likely is that it’s the routine that gets kids ready for sleep. Kids thrive with routines. It signals to them what’s about to happen next in their world and it tells them what’s expected from them. This includes bedtime routine.

If you choose to have a bedtime snack, have a bedtime snack every day. Serve your child’s bedtime snack in the same place every day (I recommend sitting at the table). Join your child while he/she’s eating and have a conversation. Don’t talk (negotiate) about having two more bites. Instead enjoy the opportunity to connect, perhaps telling stories, talking about your day, etc. Then brush teeth and continue with the rest of the bedtime routine.

Sitting to eat together is an opportunity to connect with each other and wind down from the day. It’s a fantastic way to get kids prepared for falling asleep.

Sugar

Interestingly, when it’s tested in scientific studies, sugar doesn’t cause kids to be more active. Yet, countless parents can tell you that sugar makes their kids “hyper”. If your little one is having difficulty falling asleep, try keeping sugary treats as occasional daytime foods (as opposed to evening foods) and see if it has an effect on your little ones’ sleep.

Artificial Colours

There is mixed evidence in scientific studies about the effect of artificial colours and the preservative sodium benzoate on kids’ behaviour. Some studies have found that there is no effect on kids’ behavior. Other studies have found that some kids don’t react to these foods but some kids do react. The way to find out if your child is a member of the group of kids who may react, is to eliminate all foods with these additives from your child’s diet for a period of time and see if there’s a change in her/his behavior. Label reading for these foods can be challenging. So, if you’re thinking of testing your child’s reaction to an elimination diet, I recommend working with a dietitian to make sure that you’re catching all food sources and still making sure that your child’s getting all the nutrition that she/he needs.

Food Negotiations

Waking up hungry in the middle of the night can be a side-effect of battling at mealtimes with toddlers who are picky eaters. No-one loves a negotiation like a toddler! Unfortunately, they can enjoy winning the battle so much that they ignore their feelings of hunger resulting in waking up in the middle of the night because they’re hungry.

While it feels awful to hear a child tell you that they’re hungry, resist feeding them a snack in the middle of the night. Feeding snacks in the night rewards kids for not eating at mealtimes. Also, it role models eating snacks in the middle of the night (which we don’t want to encourage). Instead, focus on removing the battles at daytime meals and snacks. How to remove the battles? Well, that’s what I share with you here at my blog. Sign-up to never again miss a toddler nutrition tip (or recipe).

How to Deal with Throwing Food (and Cups, Plates, Utensils, etc) on the Floor

{Guest post on the Love Child Organics blog: http://www.lovechildorganics.com/blog/ } A parent asked the following question: “How to deal with throwing food and cups on the floor”.  Almost every child goes through a stage where they throw onto the floor anything within reach from their highchair – food, plates, bowls, cups, utensils, etc.

The good news is that you can nip this behaviour in the bud and make it disappear from your mealtime and snacktime routines.

The bad news is that sometimes, inadvertently, you (and other adults) can be fuelling this behaviour.

The secret is to figure out what’s causing your little one to throw food and address the root cause.

Kids throw food for a number of reasons. Here are the 3 most common that I’ve experienced in my years of working with families. And, here’s how to get your child to stop:

[Note that the following are all assuming that your child is intentionally throwing items on the floor. Unintentionally knocking things over as a result of being clumsy and inefficient at self-feeding is normal and expected. Accept your child’s messiness as a part of learning the tricky skills of self-feeding.]

1.  Cause: It creates a strong reaction from you. Toddlers LOVE to cause something to happen. I could go as far as saying that they’re obsessed with creating a reaction. This is why it’s so exciting to push the elevator button – because little ol’ me made the elevator move! If throwing food causes you to react – whether it’s to pick their cup back up off the floor, scold your child, etc, they’re relishing their power to make you do something. As the saying goes, negative attention is still attention. Solution: Ignore the behaviour. Respond with a simple: “we don’t throw food on the floor.” And, don’t give them back their items that they’ve dropped. They may respond with a tantrum or meltdown this time. But they’ll quickly learn to keep things that they want to eat on their tray and the throwing food on the floor will stop.
2.  Cause: The dog eats it. This is similar to #1. Toddlers find it hilarious to feed the dog. Solution: Keep your dog out of the eating area. Either train your dog to lie outside the room during meal and snack times, or use a baby gate to block their access. Keeping the dog out of the room is the only solution that I’ve ever found to this problem. I’ve never found a way to get kids to stop enjoying “sharing” their food with their canine partners in crime J
3.  Cause: It’s the only way that you’ll “hear” them say “I’m full”. I see this again and again. Well-meaning parents won’t accept that their child has eaten enough at a particular meal or snack. They feel that their child needs to eat more (usually due to concern that they aren’t meeting their nutrition needs). So even though their child is giving clear signals, either using words, sign language, or body signals, parents keep pushing their child to eat more. Kids keep escalate their “I’m full” signals until they throw the food on the floor. Throwing food on the floor usually causes their parents to finally allow them to stop eating. As a result the meal is now over and both adults and kids are equally upset. Solution: Trust your child to know when they’re satisfied. Babies are born knowing when they’re hungry and when they’re satisfied.  Allow your child to choose how much to eat at each occasion.  It’s normal for kids to eat a lot some days and very little on other days. You’ll make sure that your child is getting the nutrition that they need by offering foods at about 5 – 6 meals and snacks each day. And, watching their progress on their growth charts. Respect and trust your child in this way. The result is that meals will end with everyone in a good mood (and with less mess to clean up).

Check out my picky eating book for more successful toddler nutrition tips.

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