Should I Make My Kid Taste New Foods?

I received the following question from a parent this weekend: “Should I make my kid "taste" new foods / challenging foods that I put on his plate? If I don't make him taste them he just ignores them and it's debatable whether we are actually moving closer to him deciding he likes them.”

Should I Make My Kid Taste New Foods?

In short: No, I don’t believe in making kids try new foods.

And YES, there absolutely is progress…even if they don’t try it!

By seeing the food over and over again, you are normalizing the food for your child. Many kids are honestly scared to try new foods. The more times that they see it (even if they don’t try it), the less scary it becomes. And, by seeing you (and other influential people) eat it, it helps them come to trust the food.

You never know when the magical day will come that your child will try it. If you stop serving it now you’ll never know if it would have been the next time, or the time after that.

Tips to Get Kids to Try New Foods

Here are some tips to follow to make sure that each time you’re serving these vegetables you’re maximizing the likeliness that he’ll try them:

• Make sure there isn’t any pressure to try (and like) foods. Many picky eaters are sensitive kids. They can feel pressure coming from you a mile away. By preparing and serving foods you’ve indicated that you want them to eat it. Enough said. Instead, focus your energy on enjoying each other during this family time. It seems counter intuitive, but the more pleasant the table experience, the more likely kids are to try new foods.

• Give small servings. A small serving is less intimidating than a large one. If he tries it and likes it, he can ask for more. If he doesn’t, then you’re minimizing your food waste.

• No “one bite rule” (also known as the “no thank you bite”). While the “one bite rule” may work for some kids, it only fuels picky eating in many, many kids. And while it may get one bite of that food in your child today, it isn’t teaching him to like these foods. What he’s learning is to eat to please others – the opposite of mindful eating.

• Allow touching, licking and spitting out. For picky eaters, putting a food in their mouths is a very intimate action. These steps allow a child to ‘get to know’ a food before eating it. Teach your child how to do these activities with good manners (such as spitting food out into their napkin).

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Can Kids Have Too Much Fruit?

Here’s what a Mom recently asked me: "I have what may be a silly question. Should I be concerned with my 8 month old getting too much fruit? In other words, can kids have too much fruit?

Can Kids Have Too Much Fruit?

In a word: yes. Let me expand with 2 key points.

1. All of us (i.e. adults too) can get diarrhea from eating too much fruit at once. If your child’s stools are getting loose, then it's a sign of too much fruit.
2. Of course, fruit is a healthy food. But human beings need a wide variety of foods from all the food groups to meet our nutrition needs.

In particular, for babies, toddlers and preschoolers, iron is a key nutrient that we’re looking to provide through food. Fruit is low in iron. It’s recommended that you offer iron-rich foods twice a day.

It’s normal for kids to have food preferences. However, kids aren’t at a developmentally ready to understand that human beings can’t survive on a favourite food alone until they’re well into their school-age years.

How to Make Sure Your Child Doesn't Get Too Much Fruit

If you notice that your child will always choose one or two favourite foods, I recommend starting a technique that I call “controlling what’s on the menu”.

Here’s how. You choose what foods you will offer, i.e. what foods are on the menu, at meals and snacks. Your child gets to choose what they’ll eat from what you’ve provided. And, they get to control how much of each food they eat (yes, including zero bites).

This way you are creating a situation where your child eats a balance of food groups throughout the day. And, your child gets to express themselves by controlling what they eat from what you’ve provided. You’ve created an environment where you’re making sure that your child is getting good nutrition at the same time as your child’s personal boundary with their body is respected.

For example, for this mom’s 8 month old, at one solid food time each day serve an iron-rich food either on it’s own, or with another food that isn’t fruit – maybe it’s a vegetable or a grain. Feel free to offer fruit at the other solid food time where you’re offering the iron-rich food. If your child eats a particularly huge amount of fruit one day and you notice that his stools are loose, hold off offering fruit for a day or two. Create balance by offering vegetables, protein foods, and grains.

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How to Get Kids to Behave at Restaurants

A question that I'm often asked by parents of toddlers and preschoolers is how to make it possible to eat out at a restaurant. The good news is that it's completely possible. And, these strategies also help kids behave well at family holiday meals. And you know that those are just around the corner. The key to making it happen is to start at home. In this video I share three steps to start in your home.

And, three additional tips for in restaurants.

Enjoy!

It’s Less Work than You Think (Healthy Snacks)

When I’m introducing my concept of 5-6 equal opportunities to eat to Moms and Dads many think that it sounds impossible – it’s too much work. But I promise you it’s not. In fact, it’s likely the same amount of work that you’re currently doing. But it’s work that’s moving you in the right direction of getting your picky eater to try new foods (instead of inadvertently fuelling pickier eating).

But I think I’m getting ahead of myself here. First let me explain what I mean by 5-6 equal opportunities to eat.

Toddlers and preschoolers have little tummies, short attention spans, and big nutrition needs. That’s why they need more than just 3 meals a day. I’ve found that most kids so best with three meals plus two or three snacks per day.

When I say the word “meal”, you likely imagine something with healthy foods from multiple food groups, perhaps eaten while sitting at a table. In contrast, when I say the word “snack” you likely think of something small to eat, perhaps less healthy foods, grabbed and eaten on the run.

Most toddlers and preschoolers don’t have appetites that are bigger at “meal” times and smaller at “snack” times. Instead of differentiating between “meals” and “snacks”, I recommend treating these as all as “opportunities to eat”.

So, instead of giving your child 3 meals plus 2 – 3 snacks per day, I recommend re-framing the concept to offering 5 – 6 opportunities to eat each day.

But the phrase that I started with in this post had the word “equal” in it: “5 – 6 equal opportunities to eat” .

Here’s where the “equal” comes into play.

To best meet kids’ nutrition needs in the face of their short attention spans, I recommend taking each of the 5 – 6 opportunities to eat to provide kids with healthy foods. This way if they eat a lot at afternoon snack and only two bites at dinner, it’s less of a worry than if you gave your child junky foods at afternoon snack and were relying on dinner for those vegetables, fruit, and whole grains.

Consider each opportunity to eat an equal opportunity to provide healthy foods from 2 – 4 food groups. Yes, this may mean that you’re putting more thought and effort onto your child’s snacks.

However, I can’t tell you how many families I’ve worked with who are providing quick snack handouts all day long. These parents are feeding their kids almost every hour of the day. That’s a lot of work!!

Instead of putting all your time and effort into providing constant snacks, I recommend offering 5 – 6 equal opportunities to eat each day, each of which has 2 – 4 food groups.

It’s less work than you think. And, you will be more successful in helping your child get the nutrition they need and have less picky eating behaviour.

Have you been using the 5 – 6 equal opportunities to eat strategy? Have you found it to be more work? I’d love you to share your experience in the comment section below!

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How to Handle Halloween Candy

Halloween is a fun and exciting holiday for kids. And, while as a parent you may not love the idea of all that candy, the last thing that you want to add to an already hectic day is a battle over food. Here’s some ideas about how to handle Hallowe'en candy.

Before I go into the ideas, first let me tell you that I’ve never come across any research studies where they specifically looked at family rules for Halloween candy and how it impacted kids’ life-long eating habits. But there have been studies about how sweets/ junk food in general are handled in the home and it’s impact on life-long eating habits, so that’s on which I’m basing my advice.

The reality is that unhealthy food is all around us. It’s an important life skill to be able to make healthy choices. Halloween is an excellent opportunity for kids to learn that skill of self-regulation.

Whenever I discuss this topic I’m transported back to my own childhood and how my brother and I had such different Halloween candy strategies. A child’s Halloween candy strategy is such an indication of their personality. Me: I ate it quickly. My brother’s pile, on the other hand, seemed to last forever, beckoning to me as I walked past his open bedroom door. I was certain that he ate it so slowly, and put it on display, just to torture me - a clever payback to his bossy older sister :)

How to Handle Halloween Candy: Toddlers and Preschoolers

Take advantage of these little ones’ naiveté and short attention spans. Limit the number of homes at which you trick or treat to only 2 or 3. This way they get to be involved in the fun of the holiday, but there isn’t too much candy received.

How to Handle Halloween Candy: School-Age Kids

Step #1 Fill Those Tummies: Fill their tummies before they go out trick or treating with a filling, healthy, favourite meal.

Step #2 Celebrate the Haul: When kids return home from trick or treating, let them be excited about their hauls. Afterall, they’ve been looking forward to this night for weeks!

Optional Step #3 Switch Witch: I like the idea of the growing tradition of the ‘Candy Fairy’ or ‘Switch Witch’. Inspired by the Tooth Fairy, kids can choose to leave out their candy for the ‘Candy Fairy’ who takes the candy away and leaves behind money. I’ve heard that some dentists and others are even getting in the act so that parents don’t have to pay out of pocket. An important point regarding this idea is that kids need to be able to have the choice of keeping their candy or leaving it for the ‘Switch Witch’. Remember, it’s important for kids to be given the opportunity to learn how to self-regulate with candy.

Step #4 Structure and Choice: For kids who keep their candy, I recommend letting them eat as much as they want on Halloween night. It’s a part of this one day’s celebration. But the next day, life is back to normal with planned meals and snacks (or as I like to call them: opportunities to eat). As the adult, you choose when candy gets to be on the menu. For example, at afternoon snack. Provide foods from 2 – 4 food groups along with the candy as normal. Let your child choose how much candy they want to eat at the meal/snack that candy is on the menu. Yes, it may mean that your child eats nothing but candy for that meal/snack. But it’s only once a day. And, they’ll eat through their candy faster. Create balance by not providing other treats at other meals (i.e. stay away from sugary breakfast cereal, sugary granola bars, no dessert at dinner).

Here’s an alternative strategy for older school-age kids who help to pack their own lunches and understand how to have healthy bodies we need to eat a balance of healthy foods and treats. You determine how many pieces of candy that your child can have in their lunch, e.g. 3 pieces. Your child chooses what pieces they want to pack. Again, balance this by not providing other treats at other meals.

Healthy Hallowe'en Fun

Are you looking for some fun, but healthier, Halloween ideas? I share lots on my Pinterest board. Check it out at: www.pinterest.com/kristenyarker

Happy Halloween!

When to Ignore Messy Eating. When to Nip it in the Bud.

I’m often asked about kids' messy eating. Parents often wonder what’s normal and at what age kids will learn to use utensils. Recently I received this question from a Mom:

My question is regarding messy eating.  My daughter (just turned 4) often eats with her hands and then has food obviously all over her hands but also on her face from ear to ear.  She also plays with her food a bit (ie:  bites a few holes in her bread and then pauses to see what shape she has made).  How much emphasis should I put on eating neatly with a fork and spoon and how do I do this or should I just be happy that she’s eating?

It's normal for preschoolers (3 - 5 year olds) to eat with a combination of their hands and utensils. Most are still working on the dexterity involved in using utensils. They're curious about the world, so yes, they'll likely explore their food too (like the example you give with the bread).

As long as her behaviour is coming from a place of eating and interest in her food, don't sweat this mess. Because we want her to continue feeling confident with eating. We don't want to make her feel self-conscious about the way that she eats.

Teach through role modelling. Have an adult join her at as many meals and snacks as possible. Her internal drive to grow up will motivate her to copy your use of utensils and other actions at the table (e.g. wiping your mouth with your napkin when you finish eating).

In the meantime, go ahead and start teaching other manners like saying please and thank you, taking turns to speak during a conversation, asking to have someone pass you the peas, and asking to be excused when finished eating.

On the other hand, pay close attention to see if her behaviour is motivated by naughtiness. That is, if she's acting out and purposely taking actions to get negative attention. You'll recognize this right away. If so, then do nip the behaviour in the bud and explain that we don't play with our food.

Use After School Snacks to Get Picky Eaters to Try New Foods

{Guest Expert Contribution to Kidzedge} If you’re like the parents of picky eaters I’ve helped for the last 6 years, you’re constantly on the look out for ways to get your kids to eat more (healthy) foods. After school snacks are a great (and often overlooked) opportunity to contribute to kids’ nutrition. Here’s why after school snacks are such a great time to get kids to eat more foods, how to do it, and some snack ideas.

After School Snacks Why it Works:

Have you ever tried getting a child to eat a new food when they aren’t hungry? It’s a lesson in futility. Many kids have big appetites at after school snack time. Appetite is a great motivator for kids to try new foods. Take advantage of this natural window of opportunity and use after school snacks to offer your child new foods.

After School Snacks Steps to Take:

Step #1: Plan snacks that include foods from 2 or more food groups. Often we think of snacks as a time for junk food. Or, as a time for a single food – e.g. an apple. But kids have big nutrient needs and small tummies. They need healthy foods more than just at 3 meals per day.

Step #2: Consider meals and snacks to be equal opportunities to eat. A mistake that many parents make is to give their child healthy foods at meals and favorite foods at snacks. This stacks the odds against kids eating well at meals. Instead, frequently, give your child a snack that includes either a new food or a food that your child has seen many times but hasn’t tried yet.

Step #3: Think outside the snack aisle. When looking for snack ideas, it seems natural to look in the snack aisle of the grocery store. But this aisle is mostly filled with highly processed, junk foods. Instead, look for easy to eat versions of meal foods. Focus on providing foods from the food groups where your child isn’t meeting the recommendations. To see the recommendations, check out My Plate or Canada’s Food Guide

After School Snack Ideas:

• Edamame and an orange (2 food groups)
• White Bean Dip* with a variety of raw veggies such as snow peas, carrots, and zucchini (2 food groups)
• Hard-boiled egg and toast (2 food groups)
• Yogurt with blueberries and hemp hearts (3 food groups)
• Sliced banana on top of whole grain crackers/rice cakes/corn cakes spread with peanut butter, nut-butter, or non-nut butter. (3 food groups)

White Bean Dip Recipe

Makes 12 Servings

1 can (14 oz, 17.6 oz) cannellini beans, canned, drained 1 bulb garlic, raw 1/4 cup (2 oz) olive oil 1/4 cup (2 fl oz) lemon juice, fresh

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
2. Remove the outermost skin of the garlic bulb (the loose stuff). Cut off the very top of the bulb so the tip of each clove is exposed. Rub the entire bulb with some olive oil. Wrap in tin foil, shiny-side inwards. Place on a cookie sheet or in a casserole dish.
3. Roast in the oven for approximately 45 minutes, or until the bulb gives off the distinct roasted garlic (not raw garlic) aroma and the cloves are squishy.
4. Allow to cool.
5. Drain and rinse the beans (rinsing removes some of the “magical” part of the beans). Place them in a medium-size bowl.
6. To the beans, add half the olive oil, half the lemon juice, and half of the cloves of garlic. Using a hand-held blender, blend the mixture until it’s smooth. Adding more olive oil, lemon juice and garlic to taste and to get the texture to the desired smoothness.
7. ENJOY with tortilla chips, crackers, apple slices, and raw veggies like carrots, celery and bell pepper strips.

Note: You can roast the garlic days in advance.

Check out my recipe page for more healthy after school snack ideas for kids.

Just Sit Down (or, How to Get Your Child to Stay at the Table)

Does this sound familiar? Your child sits at the table, eats two bites, then runs off to play, circling back to the table a few minutes later, eats two bites, then runs off to play, circling back to the table a few minutes later, eats two bites… (you get the picture). Here's how to get your child to stay at the table. I love this question because it’s one of the easiest to fix. It’s much easier than getting kids to try new foods.

How to Get Your Child to Stay at the Table: Step 1

Check in with your own behavior.

As the saying goes, actions are stronger than words. Do you eat standing at the kitchen counter? While walking down the sidewalk? While driving? You’re teaching that one doesn’t have to sit at a table to eat.

Many Moms I know are like a jack-in-the-box during meals, getting up every 30 seconds to grab something from the kitchen. Stop. Before the meal starts, gather within reach (e.g. in the centre of the table) what you expect you’ll need during the meal. This might mean serving foods family-style so people can help themselves to seconds and/or having a cloth at the table to wipe up spills. Let phone calls go to voicemail and not checking texts/ emails.

How to Get Your Child to Stay at the Table: Step #2

Set appropriate expectations.

I know that it’s going to come as a shock to you (not) that toddlers and preschoolers don’t like to sit still for long periods of time. To them it’s quite boring. So don’t expect them to enjoy sitting for an hour over a meal. An age-appropriate expectation is to stay at the table until they are finished eating. Or, until they are finished eating and a few minutes longer. An example is staying at the table after they’ve finished eating the number of minutes as they are old (2 minutes for a 2 year old, 5 minutes for a 5 year old).

How to Get Your Child to Stay at the Table: Step #3

Explain to your child that there will be a new rule at meals.

She is free to get up from the table when she is “all done”. But, if she gets up from the table, she is choosing to be “all done”. Which means that her plate is being cleared to the kitchen and there will not be any more dinner for her to eat. The next time that she will be offered something to eat is ___________ (fill in the blank with your family’s routine e.g. bedtime snack, breakfast the next morning, etc). Be clear that when she chooses to leave the table she can no longer come back for more bites.

How to Get Your Child to Stay at the Table: Step #4

Implement the Boundaries.

Now just because you explained the new rules to your child, don’t expect him to truly understand them the first day. When your child moves to get up from the table, remind him of the new rule. And ask him if he’s really all done.

Now’s the tough part, you need to follow through on the rule. Remove his plate from the table and continue on with your meal. When he circles back to the table expecting to take two more bites, remind him that he chose to be all done, so it means that he doesn’t get any more bites of dinner. Remind him when the next meal or snack will be (e.g. bedtime snack, breakfast, etc).

He’s likely to protest this new rule (that’s his job as a toddler/ preschooler). It’s important not to give in and let him take some bites. If you do then you’re letting him know that the rule doesn’t really exist. You’re teaching him that he can leave the table and make a fuss and he will get more food.

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Healthy Home-Made Ice-Pops for Kids

Recently my friends and I were having a nostalgic laugh about the rising trend of home-made ice pops – also known as paletas. The dietitian in me loves that parents are choosing to make tasty snacks for their kids that beat the heat that include real fruits (even veggies) instead of frozen, colored, sugar water. What made my friends and I giggle was remembering how we too had homemade ice pops when we were kids. However, we were raised in the suburbs in the early 80’s. Our ice pops consisted of frozen OJ concentrate, re-constituted with water, and then frozen again in the ice-pop molds. Not exactly gourmet!

Now pint-sized foodies are enjoying paletas (even the new name is fancy) made with on-trend, healthy ingredients like coconut, avocado, Greek yogurt, almond milk, even kale. And, while we were absorbing all sorts of plastic by-products, you can now buy BPA-free plastic molds and stainless steel molds. It’s amazing how far we’ve come!

Interested in making some yourself? A Google or Pinterest browse will supply you with a summer full of healthy frozen kids snack ideas. Here are two ideas to get you started. For the recipes, all the steps are the same:

1. Combine ingredients in a blender.
2. Blend until smooth.
3. Pour into the paleta molds.
4. Freeze.
5. ENJOY!

Blueberry-Kale Home-Made Ice Pops

You really need to blend this recipe well, otherwise the kale pieces are quite big which I found unpleasant (and I love kale). The kale is never truly hidden in these, but when well-blended, it’s an enjoyable part of their texture.

1 cup frozen blueberries 1 cup kale leaves, stems removed (ideally baby kale leaves) 2 cups coconut water

Raspberry-Almond-Coconut Home-Made Ice Pops

A luscious, dairy-free recipe!

1.5 cups almond milk 1/2 cup coconut milk 1 cup fresh or frozen raspberries 2 teaspoons honey pinch of salt

Combine your favorite fruits with other healthy ingredients for a delicious and refreshing summertime paleta treat!

Get more home-made ice pop recipes here.

Curing Picky Eaters (Can it Really be Done?)

I’m going to be truly Canadian here and apologize before I start this message. Because it is a bit of a rant. I really can’t help but rant here because supporting kids to enjoy healthy eating (from the very first bite) is my life’s passion. So, if hearing a person speak strongly about their passion isn’t your cup of tea. Then feel free to delete this. I won’t mind. But, if you want to know what I really feel about picky eating, then do read on because I’m being completely unfiltered here (maybe the heat’s making me a bit cranky?) Lately I’ve been hearing a lot about “curing” picky eaters.

Sure, I talk about “preventing” picky eating and “stopping” picky eating. Perhaps it’s just a lesson in semantics. But the word “cure” creates a strong, specific, emotional reaction in me.

We fundraise to “cure” cancer.

We search for a “cure” to AIDS.

We look to “cure” people of things that are fundamentally wrong. Un-natural states. Diseases.

Picky eating is stressful – for kids and their parents. It can have negative consequences on a child’s nutritional health. It’s absolutely worth intervening.

But, picky eating isn’t a disease.

Picky eating is a combination of a child’s temperament, developmental stage, and how we adults react to it.

Let me highlight this with a less emotional example – crawling. Is a child “cured” of crawling when they learn to walk? No. Crawling is a developmental stage. Some children crawl earlier. Some crawl later. And, some kids skip crawling all together, moving from scooting (or some other version of dragging themselves around) to walking.

And, how do kids move past crawling? Is it something that we adults do to them?

Somewhat, yes.

Kids are internally driven to learn to walk. We play an important role by creating an environment where they are encouraged to practice and build the skills that lead to walking. We allow them to pull themselves up on the furniture and “cruise” around from chair to table to sofa. We hold their hands above their heads as they take wobbly steps. We pull them up and bounce them on our laps. Some kids are more adventuresome in learning to walk. Some kids are more cautious. Both are normal, but we take different actions to support them to move ahead at their own speeds.

The same is true with eating. While kids are in a stage where they’re both loving power struggles and wary of foods, they’re also being internally driven to master new skills and grow up. We can create an environment where they are given the opportunities and are encouraged to try new foods. Or, we can (inadvertently) create an environment where they are prevented from learning to walk and kept in the crawling stage – i.e. where commonly used strategies with food actually fuel picky eating behaviour. We can restrict an adventuresome child to move too slow – causing them to rebel. And, we can force a cautious kid to move to quickly – causing them to either push back or withdraw.

So in a nutshell, no. I don’t believe that picky eaters can be “cured”.

What I know is that we can create an environment with food that supports kids to move through this stage with ease and grace, in a way that sets them up to have lifelong healthy eating habits. And, ensuring that they get the nutrition that they need. All while:

• Reducing the stress for everyone in the family,
• Celebrating and loving each child for who they are (adventuresome and cautious) and,
• Creating enjoyable family time at the table.

This is exactly what I devote my life to support Moms and Dads like you to do. How? Through my picky eater book and my individual picky eater nutrition services.

Picky Eater? 5 Great Benefits of Serving Meals Family Style

{Guest post for KidzEdge Magazine} Just like in the rest of their lives, kids (especially picky eaters) thrive with eating when parents provide both respect and boundaries with food. Yet this isn’t often talked about when experts provide advice on nutrition for kids.

A simple strategy for establishing respect and boundaries in ways that support kids to try new foods on their own is serving foods family-style.

Family-style is when serving dishes are placed in the middle of the table and everyone gets to serve himself or herself. Even toddlers and preschoolers can serve themselves with help.

I’ve had many families email me in disbelief that it’s worked like magic!

Why does it work? It’s not magic. It’s all about power and control.

• • Kids want to grow up and mimic what they see adults and older kids doing. Serving themselves seems like such a “big boy” or “big girl” thing to do.
  • Toddlers and preschoolers are in the “me do it” developmental stage. They take such pride in “helping”. Having them serve themselves uses this developmental stage to your advantage.
  • Serving family-style removes you from being a sparring partner for toddlers and preschoolers who love a negotiation. With no one to battle, many kids simply get down to the business of eating.
  • Cautious kids often crumble under the pressure of being forced to try something (also known as the one-bite rule). And, some crumble with even having a food present on their plate. Serving family-style allows them to proceed at their own pace. The offending food doesn’t have to be on their plate. But the opportunity is there for them to help themselves when they’re feeling brave enough to try it.
  • Toddlers and preschoolers often go through a stage where they’ll inspect each piece of food and reject it for microscopic flaws that are naked to the eye of anyone over the age of 18. Okay, I’m being facetious. But if your child is in this stage then you’ll know what I mean. Serving family-style helps you keep your cool because everyone else at the table can get on with eating their meal while your little one inspects each morsel. Therefore, resulting in a much more pleasant meal. And when mealtimes are pleasant, kids eat better.

Try serving meals family-style to see if this strategy will work its magic with your picky eaters.

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The Foundational Step to Prevent Picky Eating

I recorded this video on Sunday as a part of the launch that I'm preparing for my new service that I'll be offering you. Click here to check out my picky eating nutrition services. I wanted to share the video with you (consider this a sneak peek) because it really is such an important step to take.

In the 6 years that I've worked with families with kids who are picky eaters, I've learned that it's not just the strategies that you use that are important to support your little one to try new foods on their own. The order in which you implement the strategies really counts too.

In this video I share what I've found to be the most important strategy to use first. A foundational step, really to support your fussy eater to try new foods on their own.

Enjoy,

Kristen

Food Rewards - How to Get Your Child to Behave Without Them

I was happy to meet Julie recently. She's a child behaviour and discipline specialist. As soon as I met her I knew that she would be the perfect person to answer a question that parents often ask me. You see, I teach (based on the research) that it's not good to use food as a bribe or reward for kids behaviour. So parents would ask me for alternatives. And that's where I hit the end of my expertise - I'm a child-feeding expert - not a child behaviour expert. Read on to see what Julie recommends as alternatives to food for teaching kids to have good behaviour.

Enjoy! Kristen

• Chocolate to stop crying.
• Dessert if you finish all of your dinner.
• Candy to buy a few extra minutes of peace & quiet.

Why Food Rewards Are A Bad Idea

Parents give food rewards to their children because it works……for the short term, plain and simple. However, the long term effects on the child may include poor appetite management, low self-esteem and distorted food control because they have now associated food with negative behaviour and/or pain. This learned behaviour could possibly leave your child with a potential food addiction which can carry right on through the teen years and well into adulthood.

There are many other ways to encourage your children to do what you expect of them without bribes, threats or rewards. Add more options to your Parenting toolbox so you are not left with food rewards as your only option.

5 of our BEST BEHAVIOUR Techniques (Without Food Rewards)

1. Expectations & Routines – create routines throughout the day with your expectations in them
2. Visuals – create a chart, poster or picture for each routine & reference them throughout the day
3. Choices – offer your child at least 2 things to choose from instead of just demanding something
4. Follow through – what you say…..you do!
5. Consistency - say & do the same thing each and every time the same behaviour shows up

Try all 5 together for the BEST RESULTS!

Find out more on this topic and many others at www.missbehaviour.ca.

Learn about Julie Romanowski, Mom, Early Childhood Consultant & owner of

Miss Behaviour: parenting coach & consultant service.

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"CHILDREN'S BEHAVIOUR & DISCIPLINE SPECIALISTS!" behaviour - discipline - tantrums - communication - interactions - daily routines – solutions

Why it Hurts so Much when Your Child Refuses to Eat

{Guest post for Modern Mama} Why does it hurt so much when your child refuses to eat? Several reasons. You don’t have to be dietitian like me to be inundated with nutrition information. Every day we hear about how important it is to get enough of this vitamin and that mineral. We hear about the next super food. And, we hear about the latest food to avoid. When you become a parent this news comes at an even more rapid pace, because now you’re not just responsible for feeding yourself but you’re responsible for feeding your children too. But food is so much more than just fuel for our bodies.

Food is an expression of culture.

Each culture identifies themselves with what they do and don’t eat. Have you ever experienced culture shock when travelling? I bet you craved a food from home. Expats do too. For example, a (Canadian) friend of mine searched out and paid an exorbitant price for peanut butter when living overseas for 5 years – and she was living in Paris where there certainly isn’t a shortage of delicious food! Now that she’s back in Canada she spends her time searching for a decent croissant – go figure!

Food is also an expression of love.

I know that my Grannie’s applesauce was the best that I’ve ever tasted because hers had the extra ingredient of her love. I bet that you have similar memories. Each culture around the world shares food with family and friends. In fact, in most cultures it’s considered rude not to offer food and drink to a visitor to your home.

So it’s no wonder that it hurts so much when your child refuses to eat something that you’ve prepared. All of these layers of meaning come into play. You worry that they won’t get the nutrition that they need. You feel that they’ve rejected your love. And if it’s a cultural food, you feel that they’re rejecting not just you but your culture too.

Ouch!

When your child is a picky eater and he/she is constantly rejecting food these painful experiences can easily compound into guilt and shame. I’m a long-time fan of Brené Brown’s work. She describes so clearly how powerful shame can be. And how huge of a barrier it can be to creating positive change.

There are many reasons that contribute to a child not wanting to eat a particular food, and/or being a picky eater. Most of which have nothing related to rejection of you, your love, or your culture.

When your little refuses to eat a dish, acknowledge your feelings, recognize why it elicits such a strong reaction in you, and choose to take the high road and not engage in a battle. It’s not easy to do, but the right thing often isn’t the easy choice.

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Limiting Cow's Milk for Toddlers

Recently a parent asked me this question: “How much cow’s milk to offer toddlers. Do you allow them to regulate/drink as much as they want or just fill the cup up once and then when it's empty that's it? Being only 17 months, he can fill up pretty quick on milk during the meal, but I also don't want to be taking it away. I would prefer to just allow him to self regulate, but not sure what to do once the sippy cup is empty.”

Regulating Cow's Milk for Toddlers

It’s common for little ones to fill their tummies with milk instead of eating foods. To make sure that your child is getting the nutrition that he needs, use what I call the ‘control what's on the menu’ strategy regarding beverages (the same as with foods).

• Choose which meals/snacks you offer milk. In other words – you control what’s on the menu.
• Let him drink as much (i.e. as many glasses) of milk at those times as he wishes.
• At the other meals/snacks offer water.

This way there's no battle over how much milk he drinks. But he won't be able to fill his tummy with milk instead of eating at every meal/snack. Approx 500mL (2 cups) of milk provides calcium and vitamin D that little ones need without crowding out other nutritious foods. Little ones who drink more than 750mL (3 cups) of milk daily increase the risk that they’re not getting the nutrition that they need from eating a variety of foods. But again, it's not your job to referee how many cups he drinks at a meal/snack. Instead, use this as a guideline for how many meals/snacks to offer milk at. Restricting access (i.e. limiting the number of servings at a meal/snack) to a food or drink only increases a child’s desire for it. While restricting access usually comes from good intentions, it actually interferes with learning self-regulation. Another technique that can help make sure toddlers aren’t drinking too much cow’s milk is only offering milk in an open (lidless) cup. Often, toddlers who are drinking too much cow's milk are drinking it from a bottle or sippy cup. An open cup is more difficult for little ones to manage so it slows them down.

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More Super Smoothies (for Picky Eater Kids)!

It happened again yesterday. I was leading a workshop and a parent asked me: “Is it wrong to give my child smoothies with veggies in them? Is this considered hiding veggies?” Rarely a workshop goes by without a parent asking me about smoothies for their picky eater kids. They’re such a popular trend these days. While I touched on this in last week’s blog post; it’s such a common question that I get about healthy snacks for kids that I thought that it was worthwhile to expand on it today. And, share some ideas for smoothie ingredients.

I think that smoothies are a great way to provide vegetables, fruit, protein, and healthy fats for kids. BUT there are a couple of key points to follow to be using them to role model healthy eating and support your child to try new foods on their own:

1. Don’t lie about the ingredients. This is when you start veering into the “hiding” territory. If you’re waking up at 2am to puree foods so that your child doesn’t know that they’re in a smoothie, then you’ve strayed in the wrong direction. This doesn’t mean that you have to read out to your child a list every last ingredient in a smoothie. But don’t deny a food’s existence. Having your child help make the smoothie (like I suggested last week) is a great way for them to know what’s in it.
2. Continue to serve “obvious” vegetables (and eat them yourself). Yes, even if your child doesn’t eat them, you’re role modeling choosing to eat vegetables. You’re teaching an important life lesson that I promise is sinking in (even if the vegetables aren’t getting eaten currently).

As I mentioned above, smoothies are a great way to provide vegetables, fruit, protein and healthy fats in a way that many picky eaters will actually eat. Here are some ingredient ideas. Note that some of the ingredients (e.g. nuts) require a higher-powered blender. Mix and match the ingredients to find combinations that you love. And don’t’ be afraid to experiment to find new favs. My new favourite is pistachio-mint-banana, which I was introduced to while on vacation in California last month!

Smoothie Ingredients - Vegetables:

• Spinach
• Kale
• Avocado (also helps a smoothie be creamy)
• Carrot (I find carrot that’s already grated to blend better than larger pieces)

Smoothie Ingredients - Fruit (choose fresh or frozen fruit instead of juice):

• Banana (also helps a smoothie be creamy)
• Berries of any kind
• Peaches
• Mango
• Pineapple
• Orange
• Kiwi

Smoothie Ingredients - Protein:

• Yogurt
• Cashews (or cashew butter)
• Ground almonds (or almond butter)
• Peanut butter
• Pistachios
• Pumpkin seeds (or pumpkin seed butter)
• Hemp hearts

Smoothie Ingredients - Healthy Fats:

• See all the nut and seed ideas above (including hemp hearts)
• Avocado
• Flax oil (or ground flax seeds)
• Hemp oil
• Fish oil
• Vitamin D drops

Other tasty ingredients (that pack more of a taste punch than a nutritional punch):

• Dates
• Mint
• Cocoa powder

Looking for more ideas? Check out the recipe for my Sunshine Smoothie (Orange-Pineapple-Fresh Turmeric) or these green smoothies.

A Super Way to Introduce Kids to the Kitchen: Smoothies

You’ve probably heard that it’s great to get your kids to help you in the kitchen to learn cooking skills, instill healthy eating habits, and more.

When I’m talking with moms and dads they often tell me one of two things about this:

1. It sounds like a great idea. But they just can’t imagine how to make it happen when they think about the amount of work and the mess.
2. Yes, they bake with their kids sometimes.

This is another great example of us health folks meaning one thing and parents hearing another.

Now don’t get defensive or let your mommy guilt kick in. I’m taking ownership of the miscommunication happening here.

When I mean “cook with your kids” I mean “get your kids involved in making healthy foods”.

I’m not against baking with kids. It’s fun too. Just don’t limit yourself to baking.

Invite your kids into the kitchen to help with simple, everyday tasks.

Choose one simple task for them to help with. Examples include:

• Washing veggies
• Measure out the dry quinoa/ rice and water
• Spinning and tearing up the lettuce for a salad
• Setting the table
• Placing dirty dishes in the dishwasher
• Smoothies

Smoothies are also a fantastic way to get kids in the kitchen:

•  They’re something that they can make from start to finish.
• They’re quick and relatively mess-free.
• They include healthy ingredients.
• I’ve never met a child who doesn’t LOVE to push the buttons on machines (from cell phones to elevators to blenders).

And, while sometimes parents confess to me that they “hide” foods in smoothies (e.g. kale, spinach), it’s not “hiding” when your kids are the ones putting the ingredients in the blender! They’re simply helping make a tasty dish that includes healthy ingredients!

Do you involve your kids in making smoothies? What are your favourite smoothie combinations? I'd love to hear from you (comment below)!

How to Stop Kids Begging for Food While You’re Cooking

Kids begging for food while you're cooking. Do you experience this common situation? You rush home from work and daycare pick-up, drop your bag and coat, and immediately get to work in the kitchen making dinner (or should I say figuring out what’s for dinner and then making it?). As you’re cooking, your little one suddenly is famished. They’re underfoot, claiming that they’re “staaaarrrvvving” and begging you for something to eat. Saying that they couldn’t possibly wait the 10 minutes until dinner is ready.

What do you do? Do you reach into the fridge or cupboard for a stop-gap snack? Hand them pieces of food from the cutting board? Shoo them away (again and again), telling them that dinner will be ready in 10 minutes?

If you’re like many of the parents who ask me how to handle this situation, then you likely give them a stop-gap snack or pieces of food from the cutting board because it feels awful to tell a hungry child “no”. The thanks that you get? When it’s time to sit down for dinner, your child tells you that they aren’t hungry and they misbehave to get out of having to continue sitting at the table.

Having kids underfoot while you’re cooking isn’t a good idea for several reasons:

1. Safety. It’s not safe to have little ones underfoot when you’ve got sharp knives, hot pans, and scalding water. The kitchen should be a ‘no go zone’ for kids when adults are cooking. That is unless you’re cooking together.
2. Speed. Stopping to give handouts slows you down and interrupts your thoughts about dinner. So it actually makes it take longer to get dinner on the table.
3. Encouraging not eating dinner. Little kids find sitting still a challenge – including sitting still to eat meals. By feeding them a stop-gap snack or food off the cutting board, you’re taking away one of the most powerful allies that you have in getting kids to sit and eat a meal – hunger. Your good intentions are actually getting in the way of creating the family meal experience that you’re aiming for.
4. Poorer nutrition. Studies show that kids who snack all day have less balanced diets. They eat more than the recommended servings of grain products and fewer protein foods and vegetables and fruit.

Strategies to Stop Kids Begging Food When Cooking

In working with families over the past 8 years, I’ve come up with a few, practical ways to stop what I call ‘panhandling for food’.  Perhaps one of these will be the right solution in your home.

They all start with you sitting down with your child and explaining that there will be a new household rule: kids aren’t allowed in the kitchen while Mom or Dad is cooking dinner.

• After School (Daycare) Snack. Serve your child a planned snack while she is sitting at the table.  This is a great option for families who eat a later dinner (at least 1 hour after the snack ends). Serve foods from 2 or more food groups. It can be as simple as offering your child the food that she didn’t eat from her lunch. I’ve known countless kids who happily tuck into the very same food from their lunchbox that didn’t pass the test at lunchtime. I have no idea why but it doesn’t matter. If it was a healthy choice at lunch, it’s an equally healthy choice at after school/daycare snack. Enjoy talking with your child about her day while you start preparing dinner.  Why it works: you’re sticking to your role of choosing when meals and snacks are served, eating at the table is reinforced, you can control what’s on the menu at this snack time to keep balance in your child’s eating, your child gets fed when she’s hungry, there’s enough time for your child to build an appetite again before dinner, your child isn’t a safety hazard in the kitchen.
• Crudites at the table. ‘Crudites’ is just a fancy term for raw veggies. Before starting to prepare dinner, cut up some raw veggies and place them in a bowl. Serve them at the table. Let your child come to the table and eat as many veggies as he wishes. Why it works: it’s perfectly normal to have hors d’oeuvres before a meal, you’re sticking to your role of choosing when meals and snacks are served, eating at the table is reinforced, you can control what’s on the menu to keep balance in your child’s eating, your child gets fed when he’s hungry, your child isn’t a safety hazard in the kitchen.
• Screentime. First let me clarify that I’m not a proponent of copious amounts of screentime for kids. However, I do think that this is a practical case of the lesser of two evils. If you’re going to allow your child to watch TV, use a tablet, be on the computer, etc, I think that a good time to do it is to buy you 20 minutes to put a meal on the table. Why it works: you’re sticking to your role of choosing when meals and snacks are served, eating at the table is reinforced, your child isn’t a safety hazard in the kitchen.

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Beets: What to Do with Them

Aah, beets. These versatile root veggies are one of my favourites! As a dietitian, part of my job is to know how to prepare healthy foods like beets. So I’m sharing a couple of my favourite ways to use them. A classic storage, root veggie, you can find local ones (fairly cheap) throughout the winter here in Victoria, BC.

And, because of their naturally sweet taste, many kids like them.

However, people often wonder what the heck to do with them. Here are some of my favourite ways to use them.

Grated – Raw Beets

Beets don’t even need to be cooked. Simply wash them, peel off the outer skin, and grate them into a salad.

It doesn’t get any easier than that!

Grated veggies are a fantastic finger food for little ones to practice that pincer grasp.

However, be warned – beets stain! Pick up pieces from all surfaces (including the floor) quickly.

Grated, raw beets are a delicious part of my lentil-farro power bowl (full meal salad).

Roasted Beets

When I’m turning on the oven to cook something, I often pop a few beets in at the same time – either for a warm side-dish today, or for chilled as a salad in the future.

1. Wash beets and cut off any long tails or furry top bits.
2. Cut a piece of tin foil large enough to wrap the beet in. Lay it on the counter, shiny side up. Pour a dollop of olive oil in the centre.
3. Roll the beet around in the oil to coat it. Wrap the tin foil tightly around the beet.
4. Repeat for each beet.
5. Place wrapped beets on a cookie tray or in a baking dish.
6. Roast until tender, how long this takes depends on the size of the beets and the heat of your oven – at 350 degrees F it may take as long as 2 hours; at 425 degrees F it may take as short as 45 min.

Beet and Bean Borscht

Check out this fantastic hearty and tasty full meal in one pot, vegetarian borscht here. While the recipe takes a little longer to cook, it makes a lot of soup. And, this soup tastes great re-heated. Freeze leftovers (without the yogurt or sour cream topping) in small batches. I wanted to share it not only because it’s so tasty, but because it’s handy to have healthy meals like this in the freezer when the busy holiday season starts up.

Beans, beets and cabbage are all super healthy (and inexpensive) that I’m always looking for new recipes. I picked up this little pamphlet at the Saskatchewan pavilion at the 2010 Olympics. Did you know that we grow tons of beans, split peas and lentils here in Canada?

If the mixed textures in this soup are too advanced for your little one, simply take beans and pieces of the veggies out of the soup and place them in your little one’s dish/ on their tray.

What to do About Halloween Candy

Hallowe’en is a fun and exciting holiday for kids. And, while as a parent you may not love the idea of all that Halloween candy, the last thing that you want to add to an already hectic day is a battle over food. Here’s some ideas about how to handle all that Halloween candy.

Before I go into the ideas, first let me tell you that I’ve never come across any research studies where they specifically looked at family rules for Halloween candy and how it impacted kids’ life-long eating habits. But there have been studies about how sweets/ junk food in general are handled in the home and it’s impact on life-long eating habits, so that’s on which I’m basing my advice.

Toddlers, Preschoolers and Halloween Candy

Take advantage of toddlers’ and preschoolers’ naiveté and short attention spans. Limit the number of homes at which you trick or treat to only 2 or 3. This way they get to be involved in the fun of the holiday, but there isn’t too much candy received.

School-Age Kids and Halloween Candy

For school-age kids, I turn to the excellent advice of expert Ellyn Satter.  I can’t say it any better than her, and because of copyright reasons I can’t cut and paste her advice, so use this link to read her short article here.

Candy Fairy / Switch Witch

I also like the idea of the growing tradition of the ‘Candy Fairy’ or ‘Switch Witch’. Inspired by the Tooth Fairy, kids can choose to leave out their candy for the ‘Candy Fairy’ who takes the candy away and leaves behind money. I’ve heard that some dentists and others are even getting in the act so that parents don’t have to pay out of pocket. An important point regarding this idea is that kids need to be able to have the choice of keeping their candy or leaving it for the ‘Switch Witch’. Remember, as Ellyn Satter shares, it’s important for kids to be given the opportunity to learn how to self-regulate with candy. The reality is that unhealthy food is all around us. It’s an important life skill to be able to make healthy choices.

And, if you’re still feeling anxious about your child and all that Halloween candy, I recommend taking a listen to exceptional story-teller Stuart MacLean tell about the antics of his fictional family. Here's the link to the podcast. I listened to it on the weekend and was laughing out loud. Not only was I laughing at the story that Stuart was telling, I was transported back to my own childhood and how my brother and I had such different Hallowe’en candy strategies. A child’s Halloween candy strategy is such an indication of their personality. Me: I ate it quickly. My brother’s pile, on the other hand, seemed to last forever, beckoning to me as I walked past his open bedroom door. I’m sure that he ate it so slowly, and put it on display, just to torture me. What do you remember about how you, and any siblings, managed your hauls?

Happy Halloween!

Check out my picky eating book for more successful tips for getting kids to eat well.

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