What to do About Halloween Candy

Hallowe’en is a fun and exciting holiday for kids. And, while as a parent you may not love the idea of all that Halloween candy, the last thing that you want to add to an already hectic day is a battle over food. Here’s some ideas about how to handle all that Halloween candy.

Before I go into the ideas, first let me tell you that I’ve never come across any research studies where they specifically looked at family rules for Halloween candy and how it impacted kids’ life-long eating habits. But there have been studies about how sweets/ junk food in general are handled in the home and it’s impact on life-long eating habits, so that’s on which I’m basing my advice.

Toddlers, Preschoolers and Halloween Candy

Take advantage of toddlers’ and preschoolers’ naiveté and short attention spans. Limit the number of homes at which you trick or treat to only 2 or 3. This way they get to be involved in the fun of the holiday, but there isn’t too much candy received.

School-Age Kids and Halloween Candy

For school-age kids, I turn to the excellent advice of expert Ellyn Satter.  I can’t say it any better than her, and because of copyright reasons I can’t cut and paste her advice, so use this link to read her short article here.

Candy Fairy / Switch Witch

I also like the idea of the growing tradition of the ‘Candy Fairy’ or ‘Switch Witch’. Inspired by the Tooth Fairy, kids can choose to leave out their candy for the ‘Candy Fairy’ who takes the candy away and leaves behind money. I’ve heard that some dentists and others are even getting in the act so that parents don’t have to pay out of pocket. An important point regarding this idea is that kids need to be able to have the choice of keeping their candy or leaving it for the ‘Switch Witch’. Remember, as Ellyn Satter shares, it’s important for kids to be given the opportunity to learn how to self-regulate with candy. The reality is that unhealthy food is all around us. It’s an important life skill to be able to make healthy choices.

And, if you’re still feeling anxious about your child and all that Halloween candy, I recommend taking a listen to exceptional story-teller Stuart MacLean tell about the antics of his fictional family. Here's the link to the podcast. I listened to it on the weekend and was laughing out loud. Not only was I laughing at the story that Stuart was telling, I was transported back to my own childhood and how my brother and I had such different Hallowe’en candy strategies. A child’s Halloween candy strategy is such an indication of their personality. Me: I ate it quickly. My brother’s pile, on the other hand, seemed to last forever, beckoning to me as I walked past his open bedroom door. I’m sure that he ate it so slowly, and put it on display, just to torture me. What do you remember about how you, and any siblings, managed your hauls?

Happy Halloween!

Check out my picky eating book for more successful tips for getting kids to eat well.

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Could What I'm Feeding My Toddler be Keeping them Awake?

Could What I’m Feeding my Toddler be Keeping them Awake? I'm often asked by parents about what foods are best at bedtime. And, if there's anything they shouldn't feed their kids before bed. There’s a lot of old wives tales and urban myths about foods and food ingredients either helping or hindering sleep, thus keeping toddlers awake. However, there isn’t strong evidence connecting specific foods and sleep –either preventing sleep or causing kids to fall asleep (and stay asleep).

Here’s a roundup of the most common foods that we hear are connected with sleep.

A Glass of Warm Milk

A glass of warm milk is a classic trick to help kids fall asleep. However, it’s unlikely that it’s the milk itself that makes kids sleepy. What’s more likely is that it’s the routine that gets kids ready for sleep. Kids thrive with routines. It signals to them what’s about to happen next in their world and it tells them what’s expected from them. This includes bedtime routine.

If you choose to have a bedtime snack, have a bedtime snack every day. Serve your child’s bedtime snack in the same place every day (I recommend sitting at the table). Join your child while he/she’s eating and have a conversation. Don’t talk (negotiate) about having two more bites. Instead enjoy the opportunity to connect, perhaps telling stories, talking about your day, etc. Then brush teeth and continue with the rest of the bedtime routine.

Sitting to eat together is an opportunity to connect with each other and wind down from the day. It’s a fantastic way to get kids prepared for falling asleep.

Sugar

Interestingly, when it’s tested in scientific studies, sugar doesn’t cause kids to be more active. Yet, countless parents can tell you that sugar makes their kids “hyper”. If your little one is having difficulty falling asleep, try keeping sugary treats as occasional daytime foods (as opposed to evening foods) and see if it has an effect on your little ones’ sleep.

Artificial Colours

There is mixed evidence in scientific studies about the effect of artificial colours and the preservative sodium benzoate on kids’ behaviour. Some studies have found that there is no effect on kids’ behavior. Other studies have found that some kids don’t react to these foods but some kids do react. The way to find out if your child is a member of the group of kids who may react, is to eliminate all foods with these additives from your child’s diet for a period of time and see if there’s a change in her/his behavior. Label reading for these foods can be challenging. So, if you’re thinking of testing your child’s reaction to an elimination diet, I recommend working with a dietitian to make sure that you’re catching all food sources and still making sure that your child’s getting all the nutrition that she/he needs.

Food Negotiations

Waking up hungry in the middle of the night can be a side-effect of battling at mealtimes with toddlers who are picky eaters. No-one loves a negotiation like a toddler! Unfortunately, they can enjoy winning the battle so much that they ignore their feelings of hunger resulting in waking up in the middle of the night because they’re hungry.

While it feels awful to hear a child tell you that they’re hungry, resist feeding them a snack in the middle of the night. Feeding snacks in the night rewards kids for not eating at mealtimes. Also, it role models eating snacks in the middle of the night (which we don’t want to encourage). Instead, focus on removing the battles at daytime meals and snacks. How to remove the battles? Well, that’s what I share with you here at my blog. Sign-up to never again miss a toddler nutrition tip (or recipe).

Does She Ever Get Ice Cream?

Guest post on the Love Child Organics Blog: http://www.lovechildorganics.com/blog/

A parent asked the following question:

How to handle dessert and treats. If a three year old never eats much of her meals, and we’re not meant to say, “no ice-cream unless you eat your dinner” does she ever get ice-cream?

This is a question that I’m asked all the time. In fact, it’s probably the most common preschooler nutrition question that I’m asked!

It’s very common for there to be a rule that kids must eat a certain number of bites of their vegetables/protein-foods/ dinner in order to “earn” dessert or treats.

The intentions behind it are laudable – you’re a good parent who wants your kids to eat healthy food and get good nutrition.

However, this rule not only starts mealtime battles, it actually teaches kids the opposite of what you’re intending.

Afterall, if you say that your child needs to eat 4 bites of broccoli before ‘earning’ her ice cream, then it opens the door for her to negotiate with you for only 3 or 2 bites. Or, for the size of the bites to be miniscule. It’s frustrating for you. And it’s a fantastic power struggle game that your preschooler will love.

What this rule is actually teaching kids is that healthy food is an awful chore that deserves to be rewarded. And, it reinforces that the treat food is amazing.

Studies show that kids who need to ‘earn’ treat foods in this way, when given unrestricted access to treats, will eat more of them, and at the expense of healthier foods. In other words, while making your child eat those 2 bites of broccoli before getting ice cream may get some broccoli into your child today, it’s at the expense of your child learning to choose to eat (and enjoy) broccoli.

So the parent who submitted the question is right – I recommend not saying “no ice-cream unless you eat your dinner”.

Instead, I recommend that you do what I call ‘control the menu’.

You choose what’s going to be served at each meal and snack. Sometimes this includes ice cream and other treats. Allow your child to eat as much as she/he wants of any and all the foods that you’ve served.

Yes, this may mean that she eats nothing but ice cream for dinner. It’s tough, but you need to let it go (as a dietitian I admit that I find this difficult too).

The way to influence your child to choose healthier foods is to: 1. Control how often ice cream (and other treats) are on the menu. For example, dessert isn’t served every night. 2. Role model eating (and enjoying) your non-treat foods in addition to your ice cream.

By using these two strategies, you’ll not only get healthy food into your child today, but you’ll be instilling in them a life-long habit of healthy eating.

How Much is Enough Food for My Baby?

A big thank you to the parent who shared this question: "How much is enough food for my baby? Tonight I thought I would give in and see how it went. He polished off……. While she was specifically talking about how much food to provide at bedtime snack, I’m asked this question a lot, in fact I’m asked it at almost every workshop.

It’s quite an easy one to answer. And, the answer of how much food to give your baby applies to any meal or snack:

As much as they are hungry for.

Now at my workshops, this answer usually is met with confused faces. So, let me expand.

As the adult, it’s your role to provide opportunities to eat 5 or 6 times a day. It’s your child’s role to choose how much to eat.

I recognize that it’s difficult to trust them to know how much to eat. But it really is best to do so.

We’re born being able to know when we are hungry and when we are satisfied. Over time, through social pressures, we learn to not listen to our bodies and instead look to external cues for how much to eat. This is a contributor to eating disorders and obesity.

Studies show that when kids are raised in households where they’re told to stop eating before they’re satisfied (i.e. because the adult believes that their child has “had enough”), they learn to sneak food and gorge on food when they get the opportunity.

On the flip side, when kids are forced to eat more than they are hungry for, they learn to over-ride their bodies’ signals and they learn to overeat.

Instead, trust your child to listen to their bodies and eat as much as their bodies tell them. How much is enough food for your baby will vary from day-to-day. Some days they’ll eat so much that you don’t know where they’re putting it all. Other days they’ll eat so little that you won’t know where they’re getting their energy from.

You’ll know that your baby is getting enough to eat when they have lots of energy and their growth is tracking along their curve on their growth chart.

So, while the VIP who shared this question thought that she was “giving in”, she was actually doing the best thing for her child – teaching him to listen to and respect his own body. Great job Mom!

Check out my picky eating kids book for more tips on feeding your child to meet their nutrition needs.

I Don't Like That! Give Me Something Else!

{Originally posted as a guest post on Love Child Organics http://www.lovechildorganics.com/blog/} The following question was asked on the Love Child Organics Facebook page: "How do we get our 3 year old to stop saying "I don't like that, give me something else!" at every meal?"

This is such a classic 3 year old move!

It typically comes from two different root causes – both based on a 3 year old’s developmental stage. Because I’m not in this parent’s home, I can’t determine which one is the cause. So here’s a description of both causes. The good news is that the solution is the same, regardless of the root cause.

"I Don't Like That" Root Cause #1:

It’s frustrating but it’s a 3 year old’s ‘job’ to push boundaries. At this developmental stage they spend most of each day trying to control each and every situation. It’s a normal part of them exploring how:

• He/she is an individual,
• She/he has choice, and
• There are some rules that he/she doesn’t get a say in.

"I Don't Like That" Root Cause #2:

Most 3 year olds are at a developmental stage where they’re afraid to try new foods. I call this stage ‘food-wariness’. Three-year-olds don’t have the language to express that the food you’ve served makes them anxious. So instead they say that they “hate it”. You’ll know that your child has reached this stage if they announce that they hate something before they’ve ever tried it.

Solution

Regardless of whether your child is enjoying pushing your buttons (root cause #1) or afraid of trying the food (root cause #2), the absolute best way to get a child to stop asking this question is to not get them something different to eat the very first time that they ask. And, to not make kids try “just one bite”. Instead, tell them that they don’t have to eat it – it’s their choice. But you aren’t making anything else for dinner. And let them know when the next time is that you’ll be serving food – e.g. bedtime snack.

This way you are putting in a firm boundary – i.e. not making something else. But you’re giving them the ability to control the situation (which they want so desperately) because they get to control whether or not they eat the food.

After asking a few times (perhaps with a meltdown/temper tantrum or two), they’ll realize that this is one of the rules that they don’t get a say in. They’ll realize that they truly do have control over whether or not they eat the food. And, they’ll move on.

However, most of the parents whom I work with didn’t ‘nip this in the bud’. Because they’re amazing parents who want to make sure that their child gets the nutrition that she/he needs, they get up and make their child something different. While this may work in the short term (i.e. tonight), it backfires in the long term. Because what you’ve just taught you child is that what you serve for dinner is only one option. And, they simply have to say that they don’t like it to get another option. To a toddler, having the power to make your parents do things is the ultimate score. And they’ve just found out a way to do it!

The solution is actually the same as if you ‘nipped it in the bud’ – but with the addition of telling them about this new rule before you implement it.

1. Tell your child that there will be a new rule in the house. Describe the new rule.
2. At the next dinner, when your child rejects what you’ve served and asks for something different, remind them of the new rule and don’t get them something different to eat.
3. Remind them that it’s their choice whether or not to take any bites.
4. Let them know when the next time is that you’ll be serving food – e.g. bedtime snack.
5. If they complain of being hungry later, have a discussion with them about how they’re feeling hungry now because they chose not to eat anything at dinner. Tomorrow they can have the opportunity to make a different choice. Remind them of when the next time is that you’ll be serving food – e.g. bedtime snack.

While it’s an awful feeling to know that your child is hungry, this method, called the Division of Responsibility for Feeding, has been proven by scientific studies to actually increase kids’ openness to trying new foods, leading to better nutritional health.

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What to do When Your Toddler Can Spot a Carrot at 100 Paces

{Guest post on the Love Child Organics blog: http://www.lovechildorganics.com/blog/} Catherine asked the following question on the Love Child Organics Facebook page: “Toddlers and vegetables... What do you do when your toddler can spot a carrot at 100 paces?!”

Catherine, you’re not alone in having this conundrum. In fact, this is probably the most frequent question that I’m asked!

Vegetables are the most common food group that toddlers don’t like to eat. Research suggests that it’s because young taste buds are more sensitive to the bitter flavour compounds naturally present in many vegetables.

But, this doesn’t mean that you need to throw up your hands and never serve your child another vegetable until they’re 21!

Before I share successful strategies, I want to let you know two really important points: 1. Fruits and vegetables are in the same food group in Canada’s Food Guide. If your child eats fruit, they’re getting many of the nutrients found in vegetables. 2. As a parent it’s not your job to make your child eat specific foods. Bribing, forcing, and other tactics may get your child to eat that bite of broccoli today, but it doesn’t teach him/her to like vegetables. And, it will likely make it more difficult to get him/her to eat that same bite of broccoli tomorrow. Instead, it’s adults’ role to provide the opportunity to eat a variety of foods. And, it’s a child’s role to choose what and how much to eat from what’s been provided to him/her. The more you overstep your role, even when you do so with the best of intentions, the less likely it is that your child will eat vegetables.

Here are strategies that do work to encourage kids to eat vegetables (including carrots): • Repeat, repeat, repeat. It’s difficult to have the patience needed when your little one refuses to eat a food that you’d really like them to eat. But studies do show that the more times you present a food, the more likely your child will be to eat it. • Allow touching, smelling, licking, and spitting out. For many kids, putting a food in their mouths is a very intimate action. All of these activities let a child get to know the food. Encourage them to explore the food this way as a part of working themselves up to eating it. • Present the vegetable in various ways. For example, just because your child hasn’t liked steamed carrots it doesn’t mean that they won’t like them raw, or in a stir-fry, or in a casserole, or pureed, etc. • Use dip. A recent study found what many parents already know – that kids will be more likely to try, and will eat more of, a vegetable if they’re served with dip. • Give small servings. One tiny piece of carrot is much less intimidating than a large serving. If your child does eat it, they can always ask for more. If they don’t eat it, then you’re minimizing food waste. • Be a carrot-eating role model. I always say that the number one way to guarantee that your kids won’t eat vegetables is by not eating vegetables yourself. Role modeling is especially important for parents who are the same sex as their kids. For example, little boys pick up very quickly that ‘boys don’t eat vegetables’ if their Mom eats veggies but their Dad doesn’t. Serving the food and role modeling eating it sends the message loud and clear that you want your child to eat the food – you don’t need to say anything more.

The most important thing is to never give up. You never know when the magical day will come that your child will try, and like, carrots. It might be today, or next week, or perhaps your child will grow up and never be a fan of carrots. This is okay too. Afterall, one can be healthy even if they don’t eat carrots (as long as they eat a wide variety of other vegetables). You can even become a dietitian and not like Brussels sprouts (I know this first-hand – and yes, every winter I do try them again).

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Kids' Bedtime Snacks – Do or Don’t?

Rarely do I complete a workshop without a parent asking me about kids' bedtime snacks – are they a ‘do’ or a ‘don’t’?

In short – either option can work. But, you must make a choice. And, there are common pitfalls that you want to avoid. Otherwise, kids' bedtime snacks can actually contribute to them not eating well at dinner. And, contribute to kids not meeting their nutrition needs.

Often I see families only offering their kids bedtime snacks when their picky eater doesn’t eat well at dinner. This is the ‘don’t’. It’s a ‘don’t’ because it tends to backfire. Kids quickly figure out that if they don’t eat at dinner (where they usually are presented with more challenging foods), they can get a bedtime snack only a short while later that includes favourite foods.

Unfortunately, you’re reinforcing the behavior that you don’t want. You’re inadvertently rewarding kids for not eating their dinner.

Instead, make a new family rule – choose either:

1. There is always a kids bedtime snack
2. There is never a kids bedtime snack

If you choose to never have bedtime snacks, kids will quickly learn that if they choose to not eat at dinner, they’ll need to wait until breakfast the next day to eat again.

If you choose that there is always a bedtime snack, make sure that there is at least 1 hour between dinner and bedtime snack. And, at bedtime snack offer foods from 2 – 4 food groups. Sometimes choose to offer favourite foods. And, sometimes choose to offer a challenging food.

Oh, and brush teeth after bedtime snack.

Check out my book for more shttps://providetrustlove.com/bookuccessful tips for picky eater toddlers and preschoolers.